Our life............our journey..........
Its still hard to believe that summer's here. I think because we missed the entire last week of school its thrown our "beginning of summer" off. But here we are, moving into mid-July. We are still waiting, in that all-too-familiar holding pattern that God has placed us in. Wondering when He will open a door for us to move through. These past 6 months have been very challenging; so much so that my faith has been weakened, my eyes have moved off the goal and my heart has been heavy. I can't pin-point one specific thing that altered my course but know that my journey hasn't always been on the right path. You know the scripture, (my paraphrase) "what I need to do I don't, and what I don't need to do I do". I'm not liking where I am at, my heart desires the fullness of Him, yet steps this way and that way, never full stepping with both feet in front of me. I know I'm not being a good example to my children of trusting, and with each passing day it gets harder too; wondering if God has forgotten about us, if He's frustrated with us, (why wouldn't He be I wonder some days, with me and my dwindling faith?) yet I do know that He never walks away, though I have from time to time; He is constant and an ever present help, but......can't He do it my way? It's so hard to let go of the, "my way" of wanting and hoping for life to be "like its invisioned in my head" and striving to live life, one day at a time, as He chooses. Why is control so hard to relinquish? why do I have to be so darn controlling in the first place? Why can't I be more accomodating, submissive, relaxed? So....here I sit with a beautiful day dawning trying to be thankful for all He's blessed me with, trying to get my "groove on" with Him and hoping today is better than yesterday in that I attempt to "step His way".
We definitely are on a journey, somedays I want our life to be "normal" but exactly what is "normal"? were we even "normal" to begin with? is "normal" what God considers "comfortable"? and does He want us to be "comfortable"? Lots of questions running through my head, lots to ponder, pray over and work through!
4 comments:
I can relate to a few of your feelings and thoughts. I have felt that God brings us on a journey and there are times that I just want the ride to be over. Keep walking with Him. Keep trusting His hand and heart.
Love your new "look". What a great picture at the top of your blog!
Praying for you, Cindy! I know it must be tough not knowing what God would have you to do next. It WILL come, though! I believe that it will, and when it does you'll be ready!
Your blog is beautiful! I am praying for you to find that closeness and peace that you desire. I know waiting is hard, but God never leaves you in the fire for too long. His timing is perfect. It is hard to relinquish that control, but it is so freeing when you do. I stuggle the same way and quite literally need to be thumped in the head sometimes. :) Praying for direction for you as you continue on.
I know that sometimes we doubt God; if He really loved us why would He let this happen to me/us?
But He hasn't forgotten us; He's going through each trial with us, He feels our pain, our misery and yet He still loves us...why? what did I ever do to deserve His love? I have pushed Him aside again and again but He still loves me....I don't understand it. But I know it is true because He tells us in His Holy Word that He does.
Does he always meet our needs? Yes. Does He always meet our wants? no. As iron sharpens iron we may/will be tested again and again to make us into His image!
You don't know how many people you influence every day just by your staus' on facebook....you are touching lives right where you are.
Are you where you want to be? probably not. I know I'm not.
Take courage and know that waiting isn't easy, but it's sometimes required.
Don't be so hard on yourself, lady...you are truly a blessing to me <3
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