Stuff. . . its what happens around here. Sometimes too much stuff happens and you feel like you're on complete over load. So many things I want to share yet, out of fear, I am relucant too! People have a tendancy to judge, to condone, to be critical; were the tables turned, would they want the same? So many times I have thought about setting up another blog, one more private, one that I can share my hopes, my dreams, my questions, my heartaches, it would be one more thing, in my life, that I'd have to keep-up.
So, out of fear and trepidation, I am gonna put myself out there, out here! whatever! Have any of you ever felt compelled to step in for your kids? I don't care how old my kids are, when one of them gets hurt, I want to step in and take the pain for them, protect them, and go after whoever caused it. I call it the "mama bear" syndrome. Relationships are challenging aren't they? trying to figure out what to do, what not to do, how much to do, how little to do, who said what, did I say too much, did I not do enough, on and on and on. We're all so different, we can be from the same family yet be so vastly different. My kids, all 12 of them, look, sound, act and have many similarities, yet each one is so amazingly different, so intricate, so perfectly made by God. So why is it that I should assume that everyone should act like me? think like me? We are all made uniquely in His image, but we have a tendancy to want people to fit in the mold that we have in our mind. God is working some of these very issues through my crazy little brain. I want to run interference for my children, yet I know that if I do so, I stunt their spiritual growth, that I take away from a lesson, however hard it may be, that God has chosen for them to learn and walk through. Is it hard not to step in? you better belive its hard. But someday my children will be where I am, and they will need to be armed with life-lessons so they will be able to teach and train their children to stand firm in the storm. Pray for me, for us, we are in some storms, some we are walking through and some are still brewing.
A special friend of mine passed this little quote on to me, and I thought it was so fitting for this blog post. "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain!" Isn't that just the coolest ever! Thanks Diana!!!!
11 comments:
Cindy, so sorry you are having problems. I know that Mama Bear feeling very well. I am hear for you to talk to, whenever. Love you bunches and know things will get better. just keep the faith!!!!
Cindy, I too had Mama Bear syndrom but, I always DID step in. Looking back, I wish I would not have. I am proud of you for the way you are handling your situation and I am praying for you.
I, too have mama bear syndrome, and it is so hard to gauge when to step in and when to stay out of it. I too don't want to stunt their growth but how much does God require us to be their spiritual guidance? These are questions I am face with daily as I walk down the road of having a 20 year old and a 16 year old. I only want to do what God would have me to do but what does that look like when we all (moms) see things so differently!! I will pray for you and will you pray for me? =)
I know what you mean about wanting to step in on behalf of your kids - or sometimes even your friends & other family members. It's a tough line to walk, and one that's easily crossed. I think it's important to let those you love know that what you do (or don't do in some cases) is done out of love (and often times experience), as well as a desire to help them become the person God would have them to be. There are always areas in all of our lives that could use some improvement, huh?
Well, whatever the situation, I'll be praying for you, and hope that you'll find some peace in the fact that you've got many people out there (or here - however you want to think about it) who care about you!
I, too, wish you had a personal blog for family. But you can see from my 'other blog' that it is WAY TOO hard to keep up both.
Whatever is going on, I trust God will be your guide. And as you walk through this, you will continually grow closer to Him with more and more wisdom abounding.
I am familiar with the need to protect, especially with my Joe, who cannot always realize when others are giving him a hard time. It's always hard to know when you should step in, or just step back and support them if they don't make exactly the right choice.
I was hoping it would get easier as they got older. It doesn't. At least not so far!
You've raised (and are raising) a tribe who look pretty darn awesome. You must be doing something right.
Have you thought about making certain posts private? You can do that without starting another blog. It is password protected and you contact via email ONLY those you want to share with.
It may be an outlet for you to share with those you trust.
Wow, do I relate with what you've said, here. I've struggled with this myself and I only have one child! I can't imagine having 12! This is something I really have had to give over to prayer, over and over and over again. The fact that you're aware of it and desiring God's best is a huge plus. Know that I'll be praying for you, sweet one.
Steven and I were talking about something quite similar last nite. A teen we are very close to has broken up with her boyfriend of 2 years and is simply devastated. We are close to both the girl and the boyfriend. My first thought was to pummel the boy to death....but knowing that is not a possibility decided against it ;).
What made us stand up and take notice is the fact that our own children will soon be faced with these kinds of decisions and disappointments. How involved are we to let them get at such a young age, how do we handle the losses and the heart ache, how do we minister to the dumper and the dumpee as parents?
Then the realization that God's children were given to us to nurture and care for for just a short season hit.
We have to prepare their minds and hearts to follow the Lord at all costs in all circumstances. Our interventions and Mama Bear moments must be weighed carefully to bring around the desired result...a deepening in the walk with the Lord.
I wish I had the answers for you. I look to you for a lot of that, raising a tribe of 12! These upcoming years truly scare me to death.
I do know that for a heart such as yours with such a love and desire to please the Lord, He will guide your thoughts and your actions. He will continue to bring forth those people such as Sweet Betty to mentor you and encourage you in those times where you need it the most. He will continue to reveal his plans through his word and will rally his prayer warriors on your behalf.
Know always that you are in my thoughts and prayers despite my periodic absence from the blogging world!
Oh friend, I'm sorry you are going through rough stuff right now. I KNOW the parenting road can be a challenge at times. I will pray for you. It is not easy but it sounds like you are doing it right.
I'm back after a month long break and I will be sharing a big parenting struggle I've faced lately. I'd love to have your prayers as well.
I love that quote too. It was on the cover of one of my mother's dear friend's funeral booklets. It is so hard to go through the storm. And I know exactly how you feel. All we can do is the best we can do... Just know there is a world full of loving mothers.. who all make mistakes with the best of intentions.
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