another page has turned. . . . . .

In less than a week we've had to say "goodbye" to another son! I don't remember signing onto the painful goodbyes when I became a mom 30 years ago.......never would I have thought I would love and care about anyone the way I do my husband and my kids. Most people look forward to the day their kids start school, when summer vacation is over, when Christmas break is over, when they head off to summer camp, when they graduate, go off to college, leave home for good......not me. Maybe I'm different, weird, whatever the case I never have, not even once, looked forward to those; on the contrary I loathe the end of summer, the ending of their school vacations, graduations, college, etc. I LOVE having my kids home, I love the sound of them, the chaos, the laughter, the busyness and yes, I have to say, even the sibling bickering (what would life be without the opinions of each one?) so when its time for one to leave, a chunk of my heart breaks off; next to marrying my BEST FRIEND, Den, these kids have been the best thing that ever happened to me. God knew exactly what He was doing when he blessed me with 12. They have put me, and continually put me through a refining process; one no doubt that will continue. Trying to parent children from ages 30-2 is a huge undertaking; the age span alone is a challenge; each child is different yet alike in many ways, each one unique, yet individual and each one very close to the others.

There is absolutely no way I could do the job of "mom" without God's unbelievable help. Sometimes I don't always give Him the credit nor do I always look to Him but when my kids, one by one, start leaving our home I have no one to turn to but Him. They are His from beginning to end, and I am learning to trust that He knows all that they need to do, to become who He wants them to be. Of course I want them to become who they need to be "close" to me but that doesn't seem to be the case now, with four sons living in four very different areas of the country and one soon to be enlisting in the Army and moving to who knows where. And as much as my heart breaks and cries out for life to be "what it used to be" I know that its inevitable. Growing, learning, maturing, letting-go its what's supposed to happen. Yet, why is it so PAINFUL, why am I having such a hard time, why can't I be like other moms who find it easy to "let go"? I am reminded of how God must have felt when He gave His only son (I have 10) to die for us. How painful it must have felt to see him hung on a cross, pleading, knowing that through His son's death we could live. God has an amazing way of putting life into perspective. I am thankful He loves me, cares about me, and wants the best for me, even if that means seeing my children move all over the country. They need to find God, for themselves, their own way, so they can be the "warriors" He's called them to be.

So..........I say to my sons, "go, be, and do what God has engrained into your lives, making sure you leave lasting footprints, of your journey, that others, who come behind, will see Christ through you!
I love you, each and everyone of you!!

Last night we went, as a family, to see "Night at the Museum, Battle of the Smithsonian". It was such a good moive!! As entertaining as the movie was, my family was even more so. I honestly enjoyed listening to their laughter as much as I enjoyed the movie. There's just something about watching your kids enjoy themselves thats so satisfying and to be a part of it was even more gratifying. There isn't too much a family of our size can do together, with the age span we have, and now that Victoria is old enough to enjoy movies its a great outing (she was just too cute with her laughter too, though she didn't understand the humor, she laughed because her siblings did). Thankfully we had four free tickets, which helped out the cost quite a bit and we ate before we left. I will say that the popcorn in the theaters smells "divine" and though we were running late (we made it just as the previews were starting) we didn't even notice the smell of it as we entered, we were in a hurry to get to our seats. But.....once we walked out the theaters door the smell of fresh popcorn was wafting through the air and both Jacqueline and I said, "oh that smells so g-o-o-d!"

If you haven't had a chance to see this movie yet, go and check it out! There are a few swear words, of course, but overall its a great family movie and I'm sure you will enjoy the sounds of your family even more than the movie, as I did!

Trooper Lutz and his little sister!
This girl adores her brother!

and they say that goodbye doesn't mean forever. . . . . .

but it sure does "hurt" alot!

This morning David and Casey left for a new adventure in their lives. A few weeks ago Casey took a teaching position at a school in the south! We all knew the days would fly by and we would be facing the "dreaded" day all too soon. Here are a few shots of "my kids" as they were getting ready to head to their new home!

I can't even begin to put into words what my heart wants to say or share the pain of letting your kids go. I love these two kids so much and it sure is gonna be quiet without them here! We know that this is where God is leading them and we are excited for all they will experience and the growth that will come from it!

As David so eloquently put it, in a text just a few minutes ago, now we have another place to vacation, FREE! What a kid!

aren't they just the cutest??
loaded down, even their dog is in there!

off they go..........NC here they come!

"cowgirl up........"

this cute little stinker just loves horses, cowboy boots and hats! and she didn't even mind that the boots weren't "pink" (though they were her brother, Davids boots from when he was her age) she was just happy to have all the "western attire" on for her horsey ride! This one is just

as cute as cute can get!!

Man-boys on the loose!

Thursday night Ben left, rather late in the evening, to visit his girlfriend. Bryan, David, Branden and Brett got it into their heads to play a "trick" on him. They donned their finest black sluething clothing and hit the road. What they did was steal our vehicle from his girlfriends house and say that it was stolen. What crazy stuff these man-boys come up with and the fun they have doing it. They even conned their dad into telling the police, if they should happen to call, that it was a prank pulled by brothers on a brother! Thankfully the police didn't call, but the boys swear that Ben freaked out, yet Ben swears he knew all along it was a crazy prank. I love how, young and old, they can get together and have fun and enjoy each others company.

L to R

David, Brett, Branden and Bryan

For your viewing pleasure. . . . . .

Wednesday night, at church, we had our annual kids derby race. I decided to "not" bring my camera because last year both kids didn't place (the look of disappointment on both of their faces was just too much to capture in pictures). It was just too cute watching these kids get excited each time their cars raced. Colson is quite the competitor, though he never got discouraged when his car didn't win a race, but when it did, he was elated. Jacqueline was very graceful throughout the entire time and when the winners were announced, me without my camera, Jacqueline came in second and Colson came in first. I was angry at myself for not bringing the camera, yet was so excited for them both. All day long Colson talked about the upcoming race and each time he would mention, "trophies" and how the church should by them for everyone not just the winners because he hated just getting that "participation" ribbon last year and I would, over and over, explain why they only gave out so many trophies. I was so afraid of another year of disappointments. Well here are the pictures of both Jacqueline and Colson, taken at home, the next day. They are still elated over these trophies and car/trophy sit on our mantel! What I just love about how our church conducts this entire process is that the kids totally make their own cars, from start to finish, no parental help, no taking it home, for kids by kids and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that. They are so proud of their cars and it shows in how they display them and take care of them.

Jacqueline, car and 2nd place trophy

(her car is always some shade of pink)
Colson, car and 1st place trophy
(his car always has green on it for MSU)

We're Home! what a whirlwind vacation we had! So much fun with friends and family too. We ended up heading south to Oklahoma Saturday arriving late but excited to see our son and his family. We hadn't seen the boys since Daniel and Elizabeth's wedding and they surprised us all by giving big huge hugs! Of course it was wonderful to see Brad (Thanksgiving would have been 3 years since we last saw him) and Amanda! We stayed up into the wee hours of the morning visiting, and the kids played! we awoke early so as not to miss any time with them. The kids ate their breakfast outside in the beautiful "warm" Oklahoma weather then we all walked to the park. Honestly I think we all had fun at the park chatting, playing and just enjoying each others company. Brad and Amanda made an awesome lunch then the kids headed outside to play in the sprinkler, the pool and the slip-n-slide! It was so cute to watch them all play together! The man-boys had fun too! It was just enjoyable to watch everyone, hearing the sounds of laughter and chattering from all over the house. All too soon our visit ended. I so wanted to stay one more day but Bryan's days home are very limited so we headed out about 8pm on Sunday, traveling straight-through to good old Michigan. Den and Bryan did 95% of the driving leaving the last stretch of the drive to Branden and I. We both did the happy dance once we crossed over into Michigan from Indiana! then it was onto who was going to beat the other home! I thought I'd won but got hung-up at a light behind a slow-poke and Branden wizzed by me and beat us home! PTL our trip was "trouble-free" and was such fun. These kids are a blast to travel with, hang with, and have fun with! Now. . . .its onto finishing up the laundry (16 loads). Casey couldn't believe how much laundry was in the dungeon, it totally shocked her. Thankfully, as of this morning, I only have 3 loads! Its been a group effort here trying to get it all done.

This weekend we will see off Dave and Casey. I am so thankful we've had this time with them here. It will be another emotional roller-coaster ride when they pack up the UHAUL and head to North Carolina. We've got to find ourselves a good-paying job so we can visit our kids all over the country, we are in NC, OK, ND, CO! Its so hard to let them go, yet I know they are going where God has directed them and I wouldn't want it any other way!!

Good morning from Golden, Colorado and the heart of the Fairfield Inn's bathroom. Its early here and I'm trying not to wake my family so I'm sitting on the toilet seat, using the counter to blog! We had a great trip back to the Denver area yesterday. It seems as though my permanent place in the van is the very back seat!!!!! I really didn't mind as I fbooked, watched two movies, and tried to cat-nap during the drive. We made it to the hotel and Den went to pick up Bryan. I took the kids to the pool and they swam off their road-weariness, and boy did they have fun. It wasn't long and all the kids big and small were in the pool. Victoria just had to be with Bryan the whole time, she is just too cute with that boy!

We then headed over to Broomfield for dinner with our very dear friends, the Veresh's. What a blessing and gift that family is to us!!!! though the miles and years have separated us its like no time was lost once we get together. We had a great time and Colson and Jake were fast friends. Colson didn't want to leave. (Thats how you know everything was great when the kids don't want to go) They are also going to the graduation ceremony today.

Its going to be one busy morning here. We have to be ready to leave by 9:30 as Bryan has to be there by 10am. Then we will be headed back to our friends for a graduation celebration. Again, God has blessed us with amazing friends along our journey. . . . .

Not much more to update, other than the kids still aren't feeling tip-top. We were hoping to leave tonight and travel to Oklahoma and spend the day with our oldest son and his family, but we surely don't want to pass on this nasty virus either. So.. . . . . .we will have to see what the day brings when the kids awaken.

Enjoy your Friday. . . .I know I'm going to enjoy mine!!!!

Greetings from the heart of the Colorado Rockies. I'm so sorry I haven't posted sooner. In fact, last night I was reprimanded by Den to get with the program and blog. So since its still very quiet here I thought it would be a prime time to share.

We left Michigan Monday, late afternoon. We were only an hour or so into our trip when Victoria started throwing-up. We were able to stop and take care of her mess, get her some tylenol, eat and continue on. Several hours later she threw-up again, it is then I decided to start her on an anti-biotic (Brennan came down with strep the day before) PTL we were able to get scripts just in-case. We traveled, allbeit, over-crowded and cramped but happy and excited throughout the night. We were just into Nebraska when Blake declared he wasn't feeling well. Oh my gosh. . . . .thankfully he didn't have a fever, so we decided to stop at a Holiday Inn for a few hours, let Den recharge so he could drive, let Blake sleep, hoping he would feel better and me and the younger kids hit the pool and hot tub. The kids had a blast and the guys slept! Thankfully the Holiday Inn took pity on us and only charged us $50 for 4 hours instead of a full nights rate. It was well worth it. We all showered and put on clean clothes and loaded the van and headed off, westward bound. Blake was feeling much better, the kids no sooner got themselves settled in the van and were fast asleep. We stopped several hours later at a rest area for bathroom breaks when Den came rushing out of the bathroom with a very familiar friend; one we hadn't seen in at least 10 years, a man, once a boy in our youth ministry. How unbelievable to run into someone you know in a rest area, of all places. We all hugged and laughed and were introduced to his beautiful wife and handsome little baby boy. What a blessing God gave us in the midst of a very long journey.

We finally made it to Golden, with the Rockies looming every so beautiful in the background. Jacqueline and Colson were in awe and couldn't peel their eyes away from them. We met up with Bryan for a few minutes then headed out for Dens Aunts place on the western slope of the Rockies. We arrived late, tired but happy. The kids were out in minutes once they crawled into bed. I think I finally fell asleep at 1:3o our time only to wake up at 4am their time. This time change thing really is tough to figure out and deal with for the body. We had a great time outside yesterday, enjoying the scenery, taking pictures, riding horses, riding the rhinos, laughing and just enjoying ourselves.

Colson and Jacqueline now have strep but thankfully we have meds for them and I'm just praying they feel much better today. We head back to Golden, today, to spend the night, having dinner with great friends there, then tomorrow is Bryans graduation from the police academy.

We have a very full iteneary, yet we are able to enjoy some down-time too. I will update again later today and apologize for the extremely long post. Hopefully I can keep make the next few posts like a journal entry for each day.

Good morning world! what a weekend! I honestly think it went by in a blink of an eye too! Brett's open house went great, simple is the key and simple worked perfect! It was such fun having the kids here, and the house full, and hearing the laughter and their voices! Victoria had all of her "favorite" siblings here and she just didn't know who to go to first, it was ping-pong sibling for her and she loved every minute of it. Every morning she crawled into bed with Daniel and Elizabeth. . . .too cute this one is!



The "tribe" is making the trek westward to Colorado on Sunday for the week. We will be hanging out on the Western Slope with family, enjoying their hospitality then heading to Boulder and attending Bryan's graduation from the Police Academy. We're hoping Daniel, Elizabeth, Dave and Casey will also get to be there.



Lots to do before Sunday. Friday night we have two open houses to attend, one here and one in Lansing (still trying to figure out the logistics of that one) and on Saturday Jacqueline has her dance recital, two performances, we have our neice's open house to go to on the west side of the state, and the kids have a youth fundraising activitity. . . .geesh how much more could we pack in on one day??

Our Sunday worhsip series, at church, is on. . . . .SEX. . . . .and who would want to miss that??? and the boys have a fundraising dinner afterwards, then its. . . .Colorado bound!