the battle rages on . . . . .

I just read this status on Loren's dad FACEBOOK page this morning;

"Hi Folks, It is after three in the morning and Loren is in bad pain again. It seems beyond our comprehension and beyond our ability to cope with this constant specter of pain always hanging over us. At some point all of us have to come to grips with the apparent conflict in the Bible about God answering our prayers. Loren has said that some times he feels that God has turned His back on him. The key word here is "feels". Loren holds fast to God's promise never to leave or forsake us. But that doesn't help our weakness sometimes.

The apostle Paul was a great healer. In Jesus' name people were healed from all kinds of conditions. Even by the touch of pieces of cloth that came from Paul. But in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 Paul describes his "thorn" in his flesh. It seems unbelievable that God wouldn't heal Paul even after him begging three times. (remember that Jesus asked His Father three times to avoid the cross if there was any other way) Paul clearly says that his thorn was to keep him from being prideful. Loren says that there is always some of that but the other reason is to show Gods strength in our weakness. Even though Loren says he feels like he has come to the end of himself God forcefully caries him on. We continue to hope for the opportunity to praise God at the end of this journey and give Him the glory that is His alone. We hope that your journeys can be enlightening and that God will bring each one of you the answers needed. God always hears our prayers! And even though some people are quick to say that healings and other requests aren't answered due to our lack of faith or even due to sin in our lives, it is more likely that God is bringing us through so that we can help others on their journeys through the valleys. It is a most obvious fact that we live in a broken world. Because of that one fact there is all manner of sickness, pain, suffering and difficulties. But God if faithful and will provide for us freedom from all suffering for an eternity to come. Have faith everyone we will persevere with God's help. And keep praying no mater what. Love you all."

Would you please be willing to pray for Loren? his parents, Greg and Sheryl?  They are now into week seven at the hospital.  Den went over Monday for the day to bring some relief to Greg so he could rest and sit with Loren.  Thank you, I'll keep you posted.

the ride began early and continues. . . .

We've had a full busy summer and it's gone by all too quickly.  School is quickly approaching, for the kids (I started last week) and a whole new schedule of living comes with it.  Sitting here, in the still quiet of the morning, I realized that the emotional roller coaster began early in the summer and continued; moving, kids home from out-of-state, babies born, birthdays and anniversaries were celebrated, vacations were enjoyed and goodbyes were painful and hard.  With school only a week away my heart is already heavy with the thought of my babies being gone all day.  I love having my kids home and this year will be the first in 33 years, of raising children, they will all be in school.  My baby is starting Kindergarten!  How could that be possible? it was just yesterday, wasn't it, that she was born?  I always cry the first day of school; when I'm taking their "first day back to school" pictures, when I drop them off at school and when I walk away from their classroom doors.  What a gift and a pleasure it has been to parent these 12 beautiful souls God entrusted to their dad and I.  

My ride is about to begin! I need to make sure I'm strapped in tightly because I want to latch onto them and not let them go!  It will be wild and crazy, and my emotions will flow and will  be ever so bittersweet.

do you ever feel like a "fish out of water"

"Someone who is in a situation they are unsuited to"

I am pretty much on the outside looking in these days! I've transferred to a Christian College to finish out my degree and in doing so I have to take 30 hours of Bible/Ministry/Leadership classes.  My classes for the next 8 weeks are:  Theology II, Building a Biblical Lifestyle and Foundations of Ministry Leadership.  I honestly love a challenge but Theology II is already pushing my 
 buttons; not because I can't do the work but because I'm in a class full of students who like to use textbook words and terms.  I just want to scream, "use real words people!" When your explaining Presuppositions or The Doctrine of Inspiration  to someone, outside of class, they will NEVER get it!  

Example:  

"if our view of inspiration is inadequate, it will inevitably effect our Christology."

or

"We have to operate on at least some presuppositions, however, we need to be able to give up a presupposition if we find that we were wrong through the study of theology using the Bible."

I get both phrases but can this be articulated in a way that anyone, outside of a theology class could get it?  What do you think?

my kids have a great sense of humor. . . . .

My daughter-in-law, Casey, brought me this this picture frame to use on my counter.  I love it and have been using it every day.  When we returned from vacation I found the above messages on it from our son, Blake, who spent a long lonely week at home* alone!  I couldn't erase it and I had to share it! I love my kids and their wonderful sense of humor!

*he could have come with us but he had plans to go visit his brother in Chicago just before we returned home! don't feel too sorry for him!!!!

all good things must come to an end......but do they really have too?

Tonight is our last night in North Carolina.  We've been in the mountains, the city and at the shore, and enjoyed all the changes in scenery.  For the last 5 days we've been at Sunset Beach.  We had a great condo that serviced us well, all 12 of us; minutes from the beach.  It took many trips and lots of hands to get all the groceries, luggage and beach ware up three flights of stairs but we managed it and were ready, within minutes, to head to the ocean.  How soon you forget how salty the water is, how big the waves are and how strong the undercurrent is.  Today was our last day at the shore.  It was overcast but still warm and the waves were the biggest we'd seen in all 5 days.  It didn't take long to realize these waves were nothing to joke with.  We wouldn't even let Victoria in the water.  After several near drownings (I'm joking but it sure seemed like it), twisted knees and a twisted back we decided it was time to head back to the city.  Sadly I relented while everyone else was elated; sunburned, full of sand and wet, we drove the 1.5 hours to our son's home.  Once the van and car were unloaded Emily and I made our way to the car wash/vacuums.  We reloaded the van, everyone showered and crashed.  The rest was much needed.  You just don't realize how draining the sun, sand and surf is. . . . .but we still had a wonderful time.

Loren is up!

Loren is doing so much better. He is not totally pain free but on the road to being free from all pain drugs. The doctors working with him are confident they can get him pain free. We are praising God for his blessings and this miracle. He called Den just as we were leaving for NC last Friday. That was a huge step in his progress. Thank you all for going to the throne on his behalf. His family has no clue how many people are praying for them and Loren. Our God is mighty indeed!!!!

a beautiful respite . . .

The beautiful covered Conference Center porch at Camp Caraway, NC

We've been staying at Camp Caraway, nestled in the mountains of North Carolina, for the past two days.  We were blessed to share the weekend with our son, Brett, who is an intern here at the camp.  It's been such a wonderful retreat for our family, though not what we expected.  We had lots of plans to do "out door" activities but God had a different plan; thunder and lightening storms.  At first we were disappointed but then we found the covered porch with lots of rocking chairs.  The kids and I made our way out there yesterday afternoon just to sit for a few minutes.  While outside it began to thunder and the sky exploded and the rain was music on the tin roof.  The kids and I even played a game of, "I spy God in. . . ."

Later in the evening, as darkness descended, Den and I made our way back out onto the porch.  The storms were still present, and the lightening lit up the dark sky.  Victoria sat on my lap and the three of us enjoyed the sights and sounds of another raging thunderstorm.  It wasn't long and she was fast asleep in my arms.  Den and I sat and sang hymn after hymn that God brought to our minds.  It was a sweet time of remembering; "Sweet Hour of Prayer, Power in the Blood, Leaning on the Everlasting Arms, Stand Up Stand Up for Jesus, Heaven Came Down, Day by Day. . . . ."  As we sang the last song I couldn't help but remember a day, years ago, when we were in the hospital with our 9th son, dealing with seizures, and Daniel said to us, "this should be our families song!" and then says, "why does God hate us so much?" to which we replied, "He doesn't son, He's refining us, making us better, so we can share and encourage others."

We spent almost two hours, on the porch, sharing our hearts in song; one couple still connected after 34 years of marriage! It was an anniversary gift I'll never forget!!

Trying, attempting & working

I have been walking in the mornings; well trying to walk several mornings each week. Its such a great time for me to open my heart to God. The peaceful sounds of morning; birds chirping, soft rustling of the tress and the movement of water all cause my focus to shift off of me and onto God. It"s truly special moments I am learning to treasure. It helps me start my day out on the right foot and gets my heart and mind connected.

say "YES, to VuVu VBS!"

We have had VBS all week and each night the kids come home wet from the water games they play and each night we eat after VBS because our days have been crazy.  Tonight as the kids came in from VBS Victoria asks if she could change out of her wet clothes before she eats.  She then crawls up to the counter in her skirt, minus her tank top and says, "Look! I can pop my pecks" (referring to Journey to the Center of the Earth with the Rock).  Blake and I look at each other and just crack up!

they are like presents. . . . .

So very thankful for the family God has blessed us with; sometimes when we are feeling alone, we just have to look around and see all the faces of our children and realize how full our lives are and how not-alone we are.  We have an ever growing "tribe" that loves us, cares for us, and encourages us; through the good, the bad, the easy and the tough.  We're not perfect, we're still growing, learning; we still make wrong choices, bad decisions yet we know that comfort, care and encouragement is only a phone call away for any one of us.  They are truly "God with skin on!" and today. . . .is a day we needed some "God with skin on!"