"one drop at a time. . . "

Check out my son's new website. Save a life by giving the gift of water. Dipsao

a Tori-ism. . . .

Last night as I was rocking Tori, out of the blue, she leans up and across me and says to her two older brothers (one a senior in high school and one a freshmen in college), "Hey guys I gonna wear bras someday" then she sits back and looks up at me and says, "is that right mommy?" of course Brett and Blake are trying not to bust-up laughing and she just snuggles back down into me and commences to go to sleep! Gotta love the thoughts of an almost 3 year old little girl!

Finally........

Branden, Victoria and Ox having some fun in the new fallen snow we received today! It was a bit cold but it was such fun spending some time outside. I even managed to shovel the drive, with a little help from Branden :)

Blake and Brett shoveling last Friday on our first "official" snow day of the school year!

Colson, Victoria and Jacqueline enjoying the snow! They had a blast and didn't want to come inside!

a "new" year and a "new" start

I can't remember the last time I made a New Years Resolution. If I did, in the past, I'm sure I didn't follow through on whatever I happened to resolve to do that year. Honestly, for me, it has to come totally from my heart before I follow through. It has to be extremely important, something really worth changing for........so as I pondered, thought and agonized over this "new" year and "new" start that God has given me I wondered what I could do that would be "pleasing" to Him instead of it being about "me". Frankly I'm a bit sick of "me" and decided that I want my life to be about "HIM". Serving-seeking-living....totally for HIM!. . . . . NO MATTER WHAT! through whatever, wherever, whenever! not a resolution but a life-choice!

Our "Family"

One morning last week, on our way to school, Colson is talking about snow and wishing we would get some. As we travel to school I always pray, out loud for the kids and our entire family, so Colson says, "lets add snow to our prayer this morning, mom." I quickly agreed and prayed. When I was finished he says, "lets pray again and ask God for 10 inches of snow." I told him we could ask but it doesn't necessarily mean He will answer the way we would like. He proceeds to pray, asking God to give us 10 inches of snow that they could play in and that his nephews could enjoy when they come for Christmas. As we were talking he says, "when you pray God promises He will answer." Oh I just love the faith of this little guy, sometimes, well most times, his faith encourages me to trust God even when things seem futile.

So, today, we woke up to snow, beautiful glorious snow. Colson was so excited! even thought its not 10 inches he's still thankful for it; yet he did say, "God still has a few more inches to go before we get what I prayed for." Oh to have the simple trusting faith of a child. I learn more lessons from the faith and trust of my children. I only hope they learn a few from me every now and then.

a song that I heard from a dear friend, "faith, faith, faith just a little bit of faith. You don't need alot just use what you've got, faith, faith, faith just a little bit of faith!

a Christmas Colson-ism......

Last night we had our annual Flushing Candlewalk. The entire city is decked out in luminaries, we have a parade and it ends with Santa riding a Hook-n-ladder. Before Santa made his appearance, Colson says, "I don't want to sit on a strange mans lap, tell him things that I want or Victoria wants, then have him come and steal us Christmas Eve!" Oh my goodness! the stuff this guy comes up with, not sure when he heard that "Santa" was a child-snatcher. Needless to say, we did not make him sit on Santa's lap. Victoria was all about Santa, waving and calling out his name! quite a contrast from her big brother! The night was beautiful and just before the parade descended we were blessed with snow! it didn't stick much but it SNOWED! A wonderful night spent with the kids, enjoying free donuts, cider, and cotton candy!

a gift worth giving

I just want to brag on my little 7 year old, Colson, a bit. He just blessed my heart today and I just had to share it. In our Sunday School program they have prizes they hand out to the kids who memorize their verses. Colson had his eye on a "Winnie the Pooh" paint by number set for the past few weeks. Just so you know he wasn't wanting it for himself, but he wanted it for his school teacher. She collects anything "Winnie the Pooh" and he just knew it would be the perfect gift to give her. He worked all afternoon yesterday on his verses and again this morning so he could share them in hopes of getting that gift for her. He was beaming when we picked him up from junior church and couldn't wait to show me he had gotten it. The first thing he did, when we got home from church, was to wrap it and put a note on it to his teacher. He made sure he found a card that was blank so he could put "to Mrs-----" and "Love Colson". He came and showed me the finished gift and then placed it in his book bag and said, "I just can't wait until tomorrow to give Mrs.--------- her gift, she is just gonna be so happy!"

I was just so touched by the genuine love he shows to his teacher. Mind you our kids are in public school and their teachers, though very moral and religious, aren't Christians. I pray, with the kids, each morning that God's love and light shines through them in a way that they will be a blessing to their teachers and their friends, and I pray that his teacher is touched by the giving heart of a little 2nd grader!

a Thanksgiving dinner to remember........

Today we had Thanksgiving dinner at the kids elementary school. It was such a wonderful time and even better having my parents come to share in it!

Branden, Victoria, Jacqueline and Colson

at dinner

(Branden was so sweet, he took care of Victoria)

me, Grandma and Grandpa!

aren't they cute?


and all tuckered out and getting some snuggle
and rocking time from Grandma!
We had just the best day! food, family and fellowship was sweet
then outside to watch the kids play at recess as well as
enjoy the warm sunshine and blue skies!

Look what we got!

We were given this swing set and Victoria is just thrilled, she could hardly wait for her daddy and brother, Branden, to get it back together! What a sweet gift! Colson has prayed for a swing set for the past few months, and God gave us one for FREE! "Thank you God for answering the prayers of a little boy! you made his day (and his sisters too!)

you asked for it. . . .

You asked for it question #1: Ness asks: "I need to know how you get the motivation to exercise? I hear you talk about going to the Y and I am way too self conscious to exercise in public. Shoot, I'm almost too self conscious to exercise at home! Write about your routine and how you got started. I am absolutely wowed by how much you do in a day!"

The motivation to exercise comes from the simple fact that 1) I'm 50 2) I'm outta shape and 3) I want to be able to enjoy my children and grandchildren and not be the "fat" grandma! Also I realize that at my age nothing is easy anymore, the weight doesn't just come off from sitting and channel surfing, thus the exercise. I have talked about this before; I LOATHE exercise. I would rather play a sport, dig 3ft holes in my yard and refill them than exercise, but I do love the water and I don't mind water aerobics. Actually its fun and exercising with seniors makes you feel young and not so intimidating as sweating on a treadmill with a "size 0" woman beside you! Finding the motivation is tough some days, yet not others. I have the most energy in the mornings so I choose that time to put in my hour, and it works, if they offered the class at 5am I'd be there for sure, and if I'm not able to go when they do offer it, I do swim laps at 5:30am on those mornings. I'm truly sick of being overweight and its no ones fault but my own; no longer can I blame it on having babies because we are beyond the baby stage for the first time in 31 years (kinda sad and heartbreaking but more grandbabies will come to love and snuggle). I do love walking but since I have a hip/nerve issue its out of the question, water aerobics has helped immensly with that and my wrist. I also love Pilates and hope to step-in on the class at the Y on Thursdays.

Words of wisdom: do what fits your schedule, walk around your block, jog, run on a treadmill, borrow videos from the Library to change-up your routine, (I get bored with the same old, same old), run up and down the stairs; be creative. My son gave me a series of ab exercises that are "killers" and I do those on the off-days I don't go to the Y. The best advice is "just do something to keep your heart healthy and your peace of mind.

Here's hoping to a Summer, 2010, of fun and sun in a cute suit, shorts (which I haven't worn in 10 years) and sun dresses! GREAT! now that I've shared all this I'm accountable! Man oh man now I've gotta keep it up!!! Thanks!

nothing much to speak of . . . . . . . .

I've certainly be remiss in blogging lately. I wish I could pinpoint just what has caused me to refrain, more likely its a conglomoration of things thats pushed blogging to the background.
I've attempted, several times, to write out a post, only to find myself erasing it. I've noticed on other blogs posts about the lack of readers and responders and am wondering if we are moving more from the blog-world to the facebook-world. Facebook is a great way to connect with so many people, in a quick way without having to sit down and "think" about writing something "catchy" that someone might want to read or comment on. My husband, on occasion, the past two weeks has mentioned my "lack" of blogging and has encouraged me to pen a post. I'm tapped out friends. If any of you have a topic you'd like me to respond too, discuss, or have a question, ask away! Lets see if I can generate a post out of a question or two. Go ahead............make my day!

normal~~~are you out there?

Its been quite a few days since I sat down to pen my thoughts. I struggle with where to begin and finding the right words to start off with. Do you ever long for a sense of "normalcy"? Its been nagging at me for quite a few months now. I try pushing it aside but it keeps resurfacing. I have to ask myself what is "normal" these days. Is it a steady job, a solid family, no issues in life, a good home, nice things? just what does "normal" mean to you? My heart-strings have been pulled lately about what I've been coveting. Honestly its not a fancy house, full of the latest furniture, or a sweet vehicle, a great sub, but its about where I'm finding my satisfaction or whom I'm finding my satisfaction in. It hasn't been where it should be and that's what God is working through my heart. I tend to get "caught-up" in stuff that sends my focus elsewhere. I'm trying to put it back into perspective, trying to give up a day a week, or every two, to fast and pray for the things we deeply need, not wants but true deep needs. Its been exciting, not because we've gotten what we've asked for because we haven't, but my houghts are focusing more on Him and less on me, and isn't that what it's supposed to be anyways? I'm finding that going 24 hours without eating is doable, and manageable and I am talking to God all day long, like I talk to my best friend, just as it should be! way cool, just way too cool!

finally fall........

The leaves are slowly falling from the trees and the weather is finally cooling, such a relief. Today has brought a morning of rain and a cold crispness to the air. It feels so good. We really didn't have much of a warm summer, but it seems as though when school started, so did our summer. Crazy Michigan weather!

I'm wondering when we will feel like we are finally in the routine of school. It seems like we just hit a groove and then its the weekend; my younger kids want to stay up and my older kids want to go to bed, and before we know it Monday has once again dawned; all to start the process over again.

Colson seems to be adapting to school, Jacqueline is finding her "niche" as a tween-ager, and enjoying life in her last year of elementary school. Brennan seems to be hanging in there as a freshman, after having a few "bad" days the first two days of school and Blake, looking at colleges and applications, as he moves through his senior year. It seems rather strange that Brett is off to college and life without him just doesn't seem quite normal. I miss that boy (no Brett not because of all the errands you ran) I just miss his presence. Ok, I'm gonna leave it at that before the tears, that are welling in my eyes, drop! My classes are definitely keeping me busy and I'm wondering why I thought taking 3 classes would be ok. I have lots of reading, which I love, but finding the time to keep at it is another thing. I received an ephiphany, of sorts, a few weeks ago and came up with an amazing meal plan for my family, and we've even been able to stay within our budget each week too! Its been such fun planning, shopping and executing.

We are still waiting.......and I have to say that it hasn't gotten any easier, yet at times, can be a bit overwhelming, for God to give Den steady employment. It's hard to understand why He has allowed us to wait, trust, wait, trust for so long, yet He hasn't opened a door, hasn't given us clear direction so we will continue to put our faith in Him, even when the world screams we are crazy. We"ve always allowed God to direct our journey's, some tougher than others, so why would we change our course now? My hope is that I never ever FORGET these past 3 years, that God keeps them fresh in my mind, to be faithful in my service to Him, as well as, serving others.

conversations with Betty (a wee bit late)

Wednesday night Betty decided to stay in the nursery for the entire hour. Her hearing aid isn't working properly so she isn't able to hear the adult study. We chatted about many things but the one thing that sticks the most, in my mind, is our conversation on how God directs our paths and who He brings along to help us. We were sharing many stories when Betty said, "our Christian life is like a checkerboard, God takes us from here, slides us here, slides us over there, moves us up....."! what a vivid picture of life and maybe even an object lesson for the future. I just love this woman! I could sit and listen to her stories, and share her experiences all day, sitting next to her is as if I am sitting closer to Jesus. I want to be like Betty. I want to have a love relationship with God that keeps my mind focused on Him in the good and the bad times.

Conversations with Betty...returns......

All day yesterday I was thinking about finding someone to work the nursey at church. Since I have a broken wrist I'm pretty much useless for help with the toddlers. As I said, I was thinking about it but never took the step to call anyone and as I walked through the nursery door I saw Sherry and Betty sitting in the rockers. I apologized to Sherry and explained that I wouldn't be much help in carting and changing the kids but would be willing to stay if she didn't mind. Of course (this lady is a saint in my eyes, one of the best grandmas I have ever met) she says its no problem. Then Betty says (remember shes 85) that anytime I can't help out on Wednesday's to let her know and she will fill-in for me! What a sweetheart and what a gift she is to our church too! Well Sherry and I managed quite well and towards the end of the evening Betty came in, as usual. The little ones were quiet (which was remarkable in itself) so we were able to visit. As I look back on this I now see why God allowed me to work the nursery. I most certainly would have missed out on a tremendous blessing.

We were talking about husbands, good and bad, and both Sherry and Betty have had sad relationships with their husbands and yet they both are so full joy, no feel-sorry-for-me attitude. Betty said that when her husband left she was extremely grateful. She said she just knew God took him. She never remarried (you know what scripture says about that) and said that God became her husband, she didn't need a physical man. Then she says she began a love affair with God. Oh the way she talks just draws you to her. She says she doesn't do anything without asking God first. Her focus is always on Him. She said, "I pray and God just gives me an idea, I begin it, He helps me, He sustains me, and He gives me the strength to accomplish it." I asked her if she had gotten all of her painting done and she says, "yes now I'm rebuilding one of my outside walls. I have it almost done and my son-in-law is going to put the siding on. I really need to watch how he does this so I can do it myself." by now I'm just smiling really big and amazed at the tasks this lady takes on yet she can do it with grace and ease because you see, God helps her, she and God do everything together.....

Sherry says to Betty, "tell her about the skunks." Betty says, "I saw these two skunks out by the barn (remember in a previous post how she had to cut off a board from the bottom of her barn door? now there's a gap) Oh they were beautiful big skunks, their white stripe just glistened in the moonlight, but I thought I'd better take care of them before they got into my barn, so I got out my shotgun and hoped that I could get them both with one shot, as they were close together. I wounded one but killed the other. By now I'm laughing as I'm trying to picture (granny clampett) this in my mind. I asked her what she did with the dead skunk and she said she got out her big shovel, scooped him up and took him out into the woods (she lives on 10 acres).

Betty just loves her little house, she's lived there for 59 years. She is a very simplistic no-frills kind of woman, yet she is richer in more ways than most. She can quote scripture, from memory, as if she were a pastor, she has one of the deepest relationships with God I've ever met. I told her that she needed to write a book, or keep a journal and share her joy of God with others. I've never met anyone who has this deep of a desire and love for Him like Betty. Honestly I'm going to start taking notes, maybe even audio her from my phone because I want to remember every nugget of truth she shares. In that short time span of, maybe 15 minutes, I learned more truths than in an hour sermon.

Now I seriously can't wait until next week for my weekly dose of "Betty"......ya'll come back now, ya' here..........

From this little guy, 6 years ago........

to this guy.............

Today we take Brett to Spring Arbor University where he will begin his first year of college. I can't believe how quickly these past 6 years flew by. Seems like just yesterday he was in 6th grade and now he's a freshman once again, in college. I never quite get used to the progression of life, I know its inevitable, its the way God ordained it to be, but, as a mom, I just ache over my kids leaving, its like a knife in my heart and the emotional roller coaster ride is about to begin. Why does all the "going away, leaving, and starting" take place at the same time? Our home goes from utter craziness, chaos, loudness, playing, yelling......to eerily quiet. I don't enjoy having to remember to lock the door every time I step out it, or to keep it locked all day! I can't help it but I miss my kids, I miss their laughter, their sillyness, their teasing, their conversations, their help, their love and their smiles!
So.......without further ado, we will be packing up the van and heading out later this morning. I am so thankful he isn't going 12+ hours away like Daniel and Branden did, not sure we could do another cry-fest through 3 states; 1.5 hours will be exhausting enough! We are so proud of him and excited to see how God will mature him and use him at Spring Arbor!!!

a Colson/Victoria-ism...........

Today Colson was telling me that we don't start school until the 8th on Wednesday and I was explaining to him that Tuesday is the 8th not Wednesday when he says, "I wish God had just given us all the knowledge we need when we were born so we don't have to go to school!" I then ask him if he even knows what the word "knowledge" means and he goes into a lengthy definition which was correct!

He is such a little cutie! He isn't excited at all about going back to school on Tuesday; in fact he has been persistent in asking me to home school him. I think he will love his teacher this year (I know Branden, Bryan, Ben, and Blake think his teacher is HOT!)

Late this afternoon Den, Victoria and I were in the kitchen, he was about to leave and Victoria was asking (not bawling her eyes out like she does for me) if she could go with him when she says, "Sexy." Her daddy says, "you don't say that word, who taught you that Blake?" and she says, "no Benny teachet me dat wurd!" Oh my gosh! this girl is going to give us a run for our money I just know it and her brothers don't help either.............

yes......Yes.......YES!!!!!

Once again I have many thoughts swirling around in my head, some I'm trying to formulate, some I'm still chewing and some are taking shape. Several weeks ago we did an inner-city VBS, (see a previous post)and were totally touched. Our Pastors have, through the direct help of Christ, secured a room at the elementary school, where our VBS was held, and we will be holding a very relaxed worship service there on Sunday afternoons starting this fall. Isn't that just the coolest thing ever? Our family will be heading down there each Sunday, along with many who worked the VBS, to do whatever we can to touch the lives of that community, where they are. I'm so excited that our staff just couldn't let these families hang.....until next summer. We are blessed to be a part of such an awesome church family that are concerned about the needs of those around them, when many write them off. Please pray that God will work, through us, to bring hope to an area that has none.

a Brett-ism.............

Last night we all headed to Lansing for an overnight stay. Brett and the younger kids rode with me and as we were traveling Brett and I were talking about our rooms at the hotel. He said, "did we get conjoined rooms?" I just started laughing and said, "I think you mean adjoining rooms....."

"summer"saulting into fall

Good morning. It's so hard to believe that the summer is quickly drawing to a close. We are already experiencing fall-like weather and its a rather nice change. I love having the windows open, hearing the sounds of the outdoors and enjoy a breeze catching the curtains sending them billowing softly; its perfect weather for hanging clothes and sheets on the line, which I LOVE!

We haven't started school yet, thankfully. Our children don't return until September 8th and honestly none of us are anxious for the crazy schedule and the hours spent away from home. The younger two kids received their teacher assignments yesterday, (we are rejoicing over the choices the administration made for each of them) as well as their "supply" list. It's amazing the amount of "stuff" they need to begin the school year, not just in new clothing/shoes but supplies. Already my two kids have been scouring the Sunday ads looking for the best deals! gotta love 'em for that! I guess some of "me" has worn off on them that way.

It's surprising how much the kids grow over the summer and how little you notice it until you drag out their jeans from the previous year. I can't help but laugh when I see them on their bodies, too short, too tight and unable to zip! and then I'm saddened, too, that my babies are growing, as well they should!

Along with fall brings another son leaving for college, again the roller coaster ride of emotions! I'm so excited and thrilled for him yet he leaves behind a huge hole in our family. Thankfully he will only be but a few hours away (no long drives to PA, no 12 hours of crying through PA/NY/Canada either), but I know this mom will still shed tears!!! We will move him in on Labor Day. Last weekend we cleaned out his bedroom, his closets, everything, got all of his clothing organized, some things packed-up and made a "to buy" list for college (I LOVE lists), and yesterday he was able to purchase a laptop (with his graduation $$)! We are sure gonna miss our "Geek squad", "Nerd Herd" son! He has an amazing gift with technology!

So.......we begin the final countdown to school, to craziness, to chaos, to running the roads, to homework, to weariness, to "I'm so gonna miss these kids, and my day is going to be so l-o-n-g, and the house so eerily quiet........................."

A week, in reflection

This past week our church hosted VBS for kids in the inner-city of Flint, at a school in their neighborhood. We chose not to do the "bus thing' but to go to them directly, where they live. I wasn't sure what to expect, as I've never participated in this type of VBS before. What an eye-opening experience. We met at a neighborhood elementary school playground. Den and I were in charge of telling the Bible Story and memory verse each night for 4-6th graders. On Monday evening most of the kids were workers, with a few from the neighborhood. Many kids watched without participating from around the fenced-in area, just checking us out; some wanted to particpate, but didn't because their "gang" didn't want too. The second night we doubled our size and by day three the kids knew our names and we were getting to know each one as well. They were so hungry, not just for food as we later found out that night, but for attention, touches, hugs, etc. Most of these kids just hang-out at the school everyday, all day (this area, in Flint, is the worst area for crime, drive-bys and gangs). Of course all the kids loved Den and his stories but one guy, in particular, took a fancy to him right away and would follow him everywhere. During story time this guy was laying in the grass with him arms around one of Den's legs. It didn't phase Den in the least (with 12 kids what would) he just went right on telling the story and as he moved around on the grass, so did this boy. It was just too cute and I wish I had thought to bring my camera to capture some of these precious moments.

Later after we were home and I was tucking the kids into bed I mentioned to Colson that we should bring some Bibles from home to give to the kids who don't have one. Of course he quickly agreed as did Jacqueline. I think we took 8 of them with us the next day.

The next night, after storytime, we asked if anyone would like a Bible and each one was quickly taken with many wanting more (we so take for granted our Living Word). I told the kids that night we were planting tiny seeds that others would come along and help grow. It was such a thrill to see the excitment and to hear the kids recite their verses and listen attentively each night, my own kids were excited to go as well. What amazes me is the previous week my kids had attended a VBS that had all the 'bells and whistles" and bussed in all the "inner city kids". Never once did they compare the two, they didn't miss all the "fluff stuff" either.

Jacqueline found her niche in helping with crafts and song-time. My little girl blossomed into a little lady right before my eyes! We had two college-aged girls come with us each night too. They are from a very small town outside of Flint and had never been expossed to the realities of inner-city life. They were nervous and apprehensive; yet after the first night they could hardly wait to return. We had such fun with these girls, riding to and from Flint, watching them love on the kids, encourage them and befriend them.

One night, during craft time the kids were to make a cross and decorate them with various items, including seeds. Instead of decorating the cross with the seeds they ate everyone and asked for more. This sight totally rocked everyone's world. Even my own college-aged boys were touched. It was heartbreaking and it left us all wondering if they ate at all each day, and we were so thankful that the next night we were providing a meal for them, wishing we had done so each night previous. By the time Thursday night arrived the yard was full of kids waiting to sign-in, even the kids that were watching from the side-lines all week came and participated. We had so much left-over food that we were able to send each child home the extras and they were thrilled to take home food to their families.

I wish I could share each and every touching moment with you, there were so many. As I sit and reflect, I've realized that we don't need to leave our cities or our country to be missionaries, we have a huge mission field right out our doors. What a culture shock to see how life is, only 20 minutes from our "precious perfect suburbia." How vastly different our worlds are, how much we take for granted, and how life was put into perspective for me, my kids, our family last week. Many days we whine and boo-hoo over not going on "the latest, greatest vacations" or that we don't have the "trendy" clothes, or the "perfect suburban homes" yet in the grand picture of it all, do those things really matter? is having or doing those things push us closer to Christ, cause us to serve Him more fully? or does the "stuff" or wanting the "stuff" get in the way of our walk with Him, cloud our vision? My heart breaks at all we have, all we want, all we think we need, yet we are overloaded with "things", many of which we take for granted, many we could live without. My kids get hot meals everyday, they have clean clothes to wear, many times not having to wear the same things twice in one week, they have shoes on their feet, and a clean bed to sleep in, two parents that love them and are still together.........many of the kids we met this past week have none of that! I hate the fact that we were there and are now gone, and will wait and do it again in a year......thats so wrong to me, these kids need someone, need us regularly, not for just a week out of the summer. Pray for us as we continue to process all we saw, learned and experienced and that God will open doors for us to touch their lives through-out the year.....but by the Grace of God..................

1 Man

1 Woman

18 moves

16 jobs

12 children

3 daugher-in-laws

2 grandsons

31 years of marriage

--------------

PRICELESS

UPDATE: I got myself a nice "BLACK" waterproof cast on yesterday morning. Will have to wear it for 5 weeks, clean break! no point in posting a new pic black is black! Den just laughed when I walked in with it.....what can I say I LOVE black!

_______________________________________________________________

Guess what I got yesterday..................
go ahead try and guess......

I was walking into the bathroom, my toe caught in a tear in my pajama pants and I fell into the bathtub catching myself with my left wrist. Yup.....I broke it. Just call me "grace"!

Nothing but SMILES! I think its the shirts and the amazing pizza party they attended last night (compliments of Grandma and Grandpa Lutz). You should have seen the excitement and joy on these two kids faces when we stopped at the wagon full of tee shirts at VBS; once purchased they could hardly wait to wear them! then as Colson headed into the gym, he stopped gave me a big hug and said, "doesn't that pizza just smell so GOOD?" you'd think he had never had it before, yet he was so thankful and excited to eat and participate!
I am so full of thankfulness, this morning, at how God takes care of us, even in the small things.

It's hard to believe that we are into August already. Seems like just yesterday we were anxiously awaiting the end of the school year and now we are yet facing another new year in a few short weeks. I am not ready nor do I want to give my kids back to the public school system. I love having them home, I love the noise, the chaos, the constant cleaning-up of the kitchen and running the dishwasher, at least, 3 times a day, and the smaller amounts of laundry because "it's summer, it's shorts-time and the piles are smaller!

This week has been such fun for the kids. They are attending an evening VBS sponsored by an area fundamental church. They missed the first evening, thanks to my lapse in memory, but haven't missed another night since. They are loving it and count the hours until it starts each night, fearing I will forget or won't have dinner over with! I know how much they are enjoying this so I work at getting everything done so we can walk out the door and get their on-time!

Its been fun listening to Brennan share about his evening, once we get home, even sharing into the next day and anxiously awaiting to return. Jacqueline and Colson are loving every minute of it too, working hard on their memory verses and enjoying the carnival each night, the snow cones, the story time, craft time and games. I have loved listening to each of them recite their memory verses at registration and especially love the encouragement the listeners give once they are finished!

The downside to this week of VBS fun has been two-fold, 1) the "green camp tee shirts." The church had hundreds of shirts made-up for the week, all shapes and sizes, and they are selling them. Of course their little wagon full of tee's are strategically placed right where you enter the facility. Each day I hear my two kids say, "those are such sweet shirts, I wish we had money to buy one.......". Oh man! knife to my heart! why didn't they just limit the shirts to staff and helpers only? I know several buses packed with kids that come from low-income areas are there. Downside 2) tomorrow night is pizza night. What kid doesn't like pizza? what kid doesn't look forward to a huge pizza party? well to participate, each child has to bring $2.75 to cover the cost. Seriously? I know that this church has put on "the dog" and it does cost a pretty penny to pull it off, but honestly......I wonder how many kids are agonizing over whether they go and watch everyone eat pizza or they forgo the fun and stay home. It really bothers my "mom" heart.

I continue to pray that God never, ever lets me forget the lessons I'm learning right now. I'm constantly telling the kids that we can never touch someones life if we, first, aren't willing to walk through "the stuff." Pray for us as we continue to use these moments as great teaching tools for our kids, hard as it may be.

I've had a few thoughts swirling around in my head and have hesitated penning them. Sometimes fear is my greatest downfall, yet I have to share a little story that happened yesterday as it totally blessed my heart.

There are many people without jobs these days, my husband included. With that said we have, (its here I fear for my life, yet I have to share this part so you can understand the sweetest blessing I received yesterday) no income whatsoever. I'm not looking for sympathy just sharing a simple fact that is occurring in our lives right now; and yesterday we were planning on taking Victoria to a little friend's birthday party (my they start them young!) I fret and stewed all week over what we were going to take this little guy and yesterday morning finally resolved that we were just going to attend without any gift. How could we justify spending money (which we don't have any of) on a gift. Of course our friends know our situation and they would not have been offended in the least but......its very humbling walking into a party without anything in hand. My son, Brennan, asked me what I had bought for the gift and I told him that I didn't buy anything. We just didn't have the money to purchase anything and he said, "how can you go to a party and not take a gift?" and walked away. Honestly its gets really old constantly telling the kids, "sorry we just don't have the money for that, or we can do that, no money........." and at that point I chose not to answer him either.

A short time later Brennan walks into the kitchen with a bill in his hand, all folded (mind you I had no clue he even had any cash stashed away) and handed it to me and said, (which was stinkin' cute) "here, give this to the kid!" I looked in my hand at the folded up paper and it was a $2 bill. I almost cried right there on the spot. What a perfect gift! You see the little guy whose party we were attending turned 2 yesterday. I was never more touched than by the sacrifice my son made for his sister and to this little guy. I was more than happy to attend without a gift, yet God through His generous love provided a very special one.

It's definitely been the hardest summer of our lives and I am wondering if God still hears our cries and pleas and realize its when we let go He chooses to bless and answer, of course not in the way we think He should but in the way that will benefit us the very most.

**I honestly think Satan was trying his hardest to sabatoge this post because the font is all goofed up and everytime I try and fix it, it only gets worse so I've just left it. Crazy....weird!

a "tori-ism".....
as I was paying for MacDonalds today, after Tori's dr appointment, she says to me, "you have money momma?" to which I reply, "yes." She then says, "let's go shopping!"
My they learn quickly!

Just a quick shot of the family before the kids headed back to the "hot sunny south". I think the hot weather will be a bit of a shock to their systems once they return home since they've been in the "chilly north" for the past several weeks. We are so proud of our kids and so thankful they are following God's leading in their lives as well as serving this great country. PTL for soldiers who stand in the gap for us and our freedoms.........

Fun in the Sun

These three had a blast playing in our ridiculously little pool.
I guess it doesn't matter how big or small the pool its the fun that counts!
and finally........we had some great weather for the kids to enjoy the water!

Today was Brad and Amanda's last day with us. We had the best time with their family and it was, once again, extremely tough to see them leave. Before they left, however, the kids enjoyed some great outdoor fun, between bikes/trampoline/swimming pool. Its so cute to watch them interact and play, even the little disagreements were minor compared to the fun they had.

Wilson, Uncle Colson and Walker enjoying time on the trampoline together! I love listening to their pretend play.

Uncle Brett bought a new WII game and the kids have had fun playing it, here is Wilson enjoying it all by himself!

Walker loved the big wooden riding pony. I tried to get a shot of him but each time I took a pic he was singing! I think I should have taken a video instead to capture his little song!

WOW amazing how fast time fly's when you are fully enjoying yourselves. My prayer is that it won't be 2 1/2 years before we can spend time with them again. Maybe once they get to their new base we will be able to have more frequent visits since it is only a days drive and not two! We love you and miss you already..............

My son and his family have been here for the past week and their little guy, Wilson, who turned 6 today, and Colson have pretty much been inseparable when they are together. It has been such a joy to watch these two play, laugh and enjoy each others company. Today
we had Wilsons birthday party at our families campground. Though it was cold, much like fall weather, we had a BLAST! and I was able to capture this shot of the two of them together! Aren't they both the just the cutest little guys ever?

Wilson and Uncle Colson!!

My sweet Aunt Enid just sent me a FB message that I needed to update my blog with some pictures of the kids so without further ado and to honor her request here are a few that I snapped today at, our grandson, Wilson's birthday party.

Our oldest/youngest.....Victoria and Bradley, 28 years separate these two in age!

Benjamin and our grandson Walker, 3 (Uncle Ben)

Jacqueline and Victoria.....sisters

Our life............our journey..........

Its still hard to believe that summer's here. I think because we missed the entire last week of school its thrown our "beginning of summer" off. But here we are, moving into mid-July. We are still waiting, in that all-too-familiar holding pattern that God has placed us in. Wondering when He will open a door for us to move through. These past 6 months have been very challenging; so much so that my faith has been weakened, my eyes have moved off the goal and my heart has been heavy. I can't pin-point one specific thing that altered my course but know that my journey hasn't always been on the right path. You know the scripture, (my paraphrase) "what I need to do I don't, and what I don't need to do I do". I'm not liking where I am at, my heart desires the fullness of Him, yet steps this way and that way, never full stepping with both feet in front of me. I know I'm not being a good example to my children of trusting, and with each passing day it gets harder too; wondering if God has forgotten about us, if He's frustrated with us, (why wouldn't He be I wonder some days, with me and my dwindling faith?) yet I do know that He never walks away, though I have from time to time; He is constant and an ever present help, but......can't He do it my way? It's so hard to let go of the, "my way" of wanting and hoping for life to be "like its invisioned in my head" and striving to live life, one day at a time, as He chooses. Why is control so hard to relinquish? why do I have to be so darn controlling in the first place? Why can't I be more accomodating, submissive, relaxed? So....here I sit with a beautiful day dawning trying to be thankful for all He's blessed me with, trying to get my "groove on" with Him and hoping today is better than yesterday in that I attempt to "step His way".

We definitely are on a journey, somedays I want our life to be "normal" but exactly what is "normal"? were we even "normal" to begin with? is "normal" what God considers "comfortable"? and does He want us to be "comfortable"? Lots of questions running through my head, lots to ponder, pray over and work through!

another page has turned. . . . . .

In less than a week we've had to say "goodbye" to another son! I don't remember signing onto the painful goodbyes when I became a mom 30 years ago.......never would I have thought I would love and care about anyone the way I do my husband and my kids. Most people look forward to the day their kids start school, when summer vacation is over, when Christmas break is over, when they head off to summer camp, when they graduate, go off to college, leave home for good......not me. Maybe I'm different, weird, whatever the case I never have, not even once, looked forward to those; on the contrary I loathe the end of summer, the ending of their school vacations, graduations, college, etc. I LOVE having my kids home, I love the sound of them, the chaos, the laughter, the busyness and yes, I have to say, even the sibling bickering (what would life be without the opinions of each one?) so when its time for one to leave, a chunk of my heart breaks off; next to marrying my BEST FRIEND, Den, these kids have been the best thing that ever happened to me. God knew exactly what He was doing when he blessed me with 12. They have put me, and continually put me through a refining process; one no doubt that will continue. Trying to parent children from ages 30-2 is a huge undertaking; the age span alone is a challenge; each child is different yet alike in many ways, each one unique, yet individual and each one very close to the others.

There is absolutely no way I could do the job of "mom" without God's unbelievable help. Sometimes I don't always give Him the credit nor do I always look to Him but when my kids, one by one, start leaving our home I have no one to turn to but Him. They are His from beginning to end, and I am learning to trust that He knows all that they need to do, to become who He wants them to be. Of course I want them to become who they need to be "close" to me but that doesn't seem to be the case now, with four sons living in four very different areas of the country and one soon to be enlisting in the Army and moving to who knows where. And as much as my heart breaks and cries out for life to be "what it used to be" I know that its inevitable. Growing, learning, maturing, letting-go its what's supposed to happen. Yet, why is it so PAINFUL, why am I having such a hard time, why can't I be like other moms who find it easy to "let go"? I am reminded of how God must have felt when He gave His only son (I have 10) to die for us. How painful it must have felt to see him hung on a cross, pleading, knowing that through His son's death we could live. God has an amazing way of putting life into perspective. I am thankful He loves me, cares about me, and wants the best for me, even if that means seeing my children move all over the country. They need to find God, for themselves, their own way, so they can be the "warriors" He's called them to be.

So..........I say to my sons, "go, be, and do what God has engrained into your lives, making sure you leave lasting footprints, of your journey, that others, who come behind, will see Christ through you!
I love you, each and everyone of you!!

Last night we went, as a family, to see "Night at the Museum, Battle of the Smithsonian". It was such a good moive!! As entertaining as the movie was, my family was even more so. I honestly enjoyed listening to their laughter as much as I enjoyed the movie. There's just something about watching your kids enjoy themselves thats so satisfying and to be a part of it was even more gratifying. There isn't too much a family of our size can do together, with the age span we have, and now that Victoria is old enough to enjoy movies its a great outing (she was just too cute with her laughter too, though she didn't understand the humor, she laughed because her siblings did). Thankfully we had four free tickets, which helped out the cost quite a bit and we ate before we left. I will say that the popcorn in the theaters smells "divine" and though we were running late (we made it just as the previews were starting) we didn't even notice the smell of it as we entered, we were in a hurry to get to our seats. But.....once we walked out the theaters door the smell of fresh popcorn was wafting through the air and both Jacqueline and I said, "oh that smells so g-o-o-d!"

If you haven't had a chance to see this movie yet, go and check it out! There are a few swear words, of course, but overall its a great family movie and I'm sure you will enjoy the sounds of your family even more than the movie, as I did!

Trooper Lutz and his little sister!
This girl adores her brother!

and they say that goodbye doesn't mean forever. . . . . .

but it sure does "hurt" alot!

This morning David and Casey left for a new adventure in their lives. A few weeks ago Casey took a teaching position at a school in the south! We all knew the days would fly by and we would be facing the "dreaded" day all too soon. Here are a few shots of "my kids" as they were getting ready to head to their new home!

I can't even begin to put into words what my heart wants to say or share the pain of letting your kids go. I love these two kids so much and it sure is gonna be quiet without them here! We know that this is where God is leading them and we are excited for all they will experience and the growth that will come from it!

As David so eloquently put it, in a text just a few minutes ago, now we have another place to vacation, FREE! What a kid!

aren't they just the cutest??
loaded down, even their dog is in there!

off they go..........NC here they come!

"cowgirl up........"

this cute little stinker just loves horses, cowboy boots and hats! and she didn't even mind that the boots weren't "pink" (though they were her brother, Davids boots from when he was her age) she was just happy to have all the "western attire" on for her horsey ride! This one is just

as cute as cute can get!!

Man-boys on the loose!

Thursday night Ben left, rather late in the evening, to visit his girlfriend. Bryan, David, Branden and Brett got it into their heads to play a "trick" on him. They donned their finest black sluething clothing and hit the road. What they did was steal our vehicle from his girlfriends house and say that it was stolen. What crazy stuff these man-boys come up with and the fun they have doing it. They even conned their dad into telling the police, if they should happen to call, that it was a prank pulled by brothers on a brother! Thankfully the police didn't call, but the boys swear that Ben freaked out, yet Ben swears he knew all along it was a crazy prank. I love how, young and old, they can get together and have fun and enjoy each others company.

L to R

David, Brett, Branden and Bryan

For your viewing pleasure. . . . . .

Wednesday night, at church, we had our annual kids derby race. I decided to "not" bring my camera because last year both kids didn't place (the look of disappointment on both of their faces was just too much to capture in pictures). It was just too cute watching these kids get excited each time their cars raced. Colson is quite the competitor, though he never got discouraged when his car didn't win a race, but when it did, he was elated. Jacqueline was very graceful throughout the entire time and when the winners were announced, me without my camera, Jacqueline came in second and Colson came in first. I was angry at myself for not bringing the camera, yet was so excited for them both. All day long Colson talked about the upcoming race and each time he would mention, "trophies" and how the church should by them for everyone not just the winners because he hated just getting that "participation" ribbon last year and I would, over and over, explain why they only gave out so many trophies. I was so afraid of another year of disappointments. Well here are the pictures of both Jacqueline and Colson, taken at home, the next day. They are still elated over these trophies and car/trophy sit on our mantel! What I just love about how our church conducts this entire process is that the kids totally make their own cars, from start to finish, no parental help, no taking it home, for kids by kids and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that. They are so proud of their cars and it shows in how they display them and take care of them.

Jacqueline, car and 2nd place trophy

(her car is always some shade of pink)
Colson, car and 1st place trophy
(his car always has green on it for MSU)

We're Home! what a whirlwind vacation we had! So much fun with friends and family too. We ended up heading south to Oklahoma Saturday arriving late but excited to see our son and his family. We hadn't seen the boys since Daniel and Elizabeth's wedding and they surprised us all by giving big huge hugs! Of course it was wonderful to see Brad (Thanksgiving would have been 3 years since we last saw him) and Amanda! We stayed up into the wee hours of the morning visiting, and the kids played! we awoke early so as not to miss any time with them. The kids ate their breakfast outside in the beautiful "warm" Oklahoma weather then we all walked to the park. Honestly I think we all had fun at the park chatting, playing and just enjoying each others company. Brad and Amanda made an awesome lunch then the kids headed outside to play in the sprinkler, the pool and the slip-n-slide! It was so cute to watch them all play together! The man-boys had fun too! It was just enjoyable to watch everyone, hearing the sounds of laughter and chattering from all over the house. All too soon our visit ended. I so wanted to stay one more day but Bryan's days home are very limited so we headed out about 8pm on Sunday, traveling straight-through to good old Michigan. Den and Bryan did 95% of the driving leaving the last stretch of the drive to Branden and I. We both did the happy dance once we crossed over into Michigan from Indiana! then it was onto who was going to beat the other home! I thought I'd won but got hung-up at a light behind a slow-poke and Branden wizzed by me and beat us home! PTL our trip was "trouble-free" and was such fun. These kids are a blast to travel with, hang with, and have fun with! Now. . . .its onto finishing up the laundry (16 loads). Casey couldn't believe how much laundry was in the dungeon, it totally shocked her. Thankfully, as of this morning, I only have 3 loads! Its been a group effort here trying to get it all done.

This weekend we will see off Dave and Casey. I am so thankful we've had this time with them here. It will be another emotional roller-coaster ride when they pack up the UHAUL and head to North Carolina. We've got to find ourselves a good-paying job so we can visit our kids all over the country, we are in NC, OK, ND, CO! Its so hard to let them go, yet I know they are going where God has directed them and I wouldn't want it any other way!!

Good morning from Golden, Colorado and the heart of the Fairfield Inn's bathroom. Its early here and I'm trying not to wake my family so I'm sitting on the toilet seat, using the counter to blog! We had a great trip back to the Denver area yesterday. It seems as though my permanent place in the van is the very back seat!!!!! I really didn't mind as I fbooked, watched two movies, and tried to cat-nap during the drive. We made it to the hotel and Den went to pick up Bryan. I took the kids to the pool and they swam off their road-weariness, and boy did they have fun. It wasn't long and all the kids big and small were in the pool. Victoria just had to be with Bryan the whole time, she is just too cute with that boy!

We then headed over to Broomfield for dinner with our very dear friends, the Veresh's. What a blessing and gift that family is to us!!!! though the miles and years have separated us its like no time was lost once we get together. We had a great time and Colson and Jake were fast friends. Colson didn't want to leave. (Thats how you know everything was great when the kids don't want to go) They are also going to the graduation ceremony today.

Its going to be one busy morning here. We have to be ready to leave by 9:30 as Bryan has to be there by 10am. Then we will be headed back to our friends for a graduation celebration. Again, God has blessed us with amazing friends along our journey. . . . .

Not much more to update, other than the kids still aren't feeling tip-top. We were hoping to leave tonight and travel to Oklahoma and spend the day with our oldest son and his family, but we surely don't want to pass on this nasty virus either. So.. . . . . .we will have to see what the day brings when the kids awaken.

Enjoy your Friday. . . .I know I'm going to enjoy mine!!!!

Greetings from the heart of the Colorado Rockies. I'm so sorry I haven't posted sooner. In fact, last night I was reprimanded by Den to get with the program and blog. So since its still very quiet here I thought it would be a prime time to share.

We left Michigan Monday, late afternoon. We were only an hour or so into our trip when Victoria started throwing-up. We were able to stop and take care of her mess, get her some tylenol, eat and continue on. Several hours later she threw-up again, it is then I decided to start her on an anti-biotic (Brennan came down with strep the day before) PTL we were able to get scripts just in-case. We traveled, allbeit, over-crowded and cramped but happy and excited throughout the night. We were just into Nebraska when Blake declared he wasn't feeling well. Oh my gosh. . . . .thankfully he didn't have a fever, so we decided to stop at a Holiday Inn for a few hours, let Den recharge so he could drive, let Blake sleep, hoping he would feel better and me and the younger kids hit the pool and hot tub. The kids had a blast and the guys slept! Thankfully the Holiday Inn took pity on us and only charged us $50 for 4 hours instead of a full nights rate. It was well worth it. We all showered and put on clean clothes and loaded the van and headed off, westward bound. Blake was feeling much better, the kids no sooner got themselves settled in the van and were fast asleep. We stopped several hours later at a rest area for bathroom breaks when Den came rushing out of the bathroom with a very familiar friend; one we hadn't seen in at least 10 years, a man, once a boy in our youth ministry. How unbelievable to run into someone you know in a rest area, of all places. We all hugged and laughed and were introduced to his beautiful wife and handsome little baby boy. What a blessing God gave us in the midst of a very long journey.

We finally made it to Golden, with the Rockies looming every so beautiful in the background. Jacqueline and Colson were in awe and couldn't peel their eyes away from them. We met up with Bryan for a few minutes then headed out for Dens Aunts place on the western slope of the Rockies. We arrived late, tired but happy. The kids were out in minutes once they crawled into bed. I think I finally fell asleep at 1:3o our time only to wake up at 4am their time. This time change thing really is tough to figure out and deal with for the body. We had a great time outside yesterday, enjoying the scenery, taking pictures, riding horses, riding the rhinos, laughing and just enjoying ourselves.

Colson and Jacqueline now have strep but thankfully we have meds for them and I'm just praying they feel much better today. We head back to Golden, today, to spend the night, having dinner with great friends there, then tomorrow is Bryans graduation from the police academy.

We have a very full iteneary, yet we are able to enjoy some down-time too. I will update again later today and apologize for the extremely long post. Hopefully I can keep make the next few posts like a journal entry for each day.

Good morning world! what a weekend! I honestly think it went by in a blink of an eye too! Brett's open house went great, simple is the key and simple worked perfect! It was such fun having the kids here, and the house full, and hearing the laughter and their voices! Victoria had all of her "favorite" siblings here and she just didn't know who to go to first, it was ping-pong sibling for her and she loved every minute of it. Every morning she crawled into bed with Daniel and Elizabeth. . . .too cute this one is!



The "tribe" is making the trek westward to Colorado on Sunday for the week. We will be hanging out on the Western Slope with family, enjoying their hospitality then heading to Boulder and attending Bryan's graduation from the Police Academy. We're hoping Daniel, Elizabeth, Dave and Casey will also get to be there.



Lots to do before Sunday. Friday night we have two open houses to attend, one here and one in Lansing (still trying to figure out the logistics of that one) and on Saturday Jacqueline has her dance recital, two performances, we have our neice's open house to go to on the west side of the state, and the kids have a youth fundraising activitity. . . .geesh how much more could we pack in on one day??

Our Sunday worhsip series, at church, is on. . . . .SEX. . . . .and who would want to miss that??? and the boys have a fundraising dinner afterwards, then its. . . .Colorado bound!

WHAT A MESS. . . . .I went to head upstairs to take a shower and walked into the entryway of our home to a huge haze. I freaked a bit and yelled for Scottie. He ran in and we proceed to head upstairs to find more of it! We searched, thinking it was a fire, yet it just didn't smell like it and then. . . . .Scottie found the culprit.. . . . .a fire extinguisher that had "mysteriously" gone off! Of course we knew exactly who had done this (three guesses and the first two don't count). . . . . . Colson! I quickly ran downstairs and found him all sedate like nothing happened. Upon grilling him he finally fessed up to the truth, what's hilarious is that he tried to blame it on Victoria! She can't even lift the thing. He did say to Scottie, unbeknownst to me, "just 'cause I'm a kid doesn't mean I did it." Ok. . . .like Benjamin did it! This kids amazes me and honestly it was hard to reprimand him because it was so darn funny, well some of it anyways; because I did just vacuum and clean the entire house, all 3000 sq ft. of it, from top to bottom this week. Whats a mom to do? get mad or just chalk it up to an inquisitive 7 year old and deal with it.

Never a dull moment around here either!!

Its been a busy time around here lately. Brett is graduating on Sunday and his open house is Saturday. I've been busy buying and browning hamburger, Nachos is on the menu. I finally finished the last of it yesterday. WHEW what a job. Sunday I spent the afternoon picking up odds and ends and have one more Kroger's run to finish off everything. We are having his open house at church so Brett and I dropped off all the "stuff" on Sunday afternoon, now its just sit and wait until Thursday when we can set-up and organize. Since this is our 7th graduate I have learned that simple is best. No elaborate decorations! No huge menu and it works great, less stress, less clean-up and less costly.

We are giddy with excitement, not only for Brett and his accomplishments, but Daniel and Elizabeth fly home Friday morning, Friday night Bryan flys in and this week Dave and Casey move in with us for two weeks (they are heading to NC as she took a teaching job there and needed a place to stay until the BIG MOVE). FUN FUN FUN there will be 15 of us under one room and for, the first time in months, I am thankful we have a large home to house us all. We are getting family pictures taken too this weekend. If Bryan is able to fly in early we will do them Friday evening, otherwise they are scheduled for Saturday after the open house.

There is so much to blog, lots rolling around in my head, lots to share, and unfortunately it will have to wait for another time, but for now this is it!

Since schools been finished I seem to find many things to keep busy and little time to catch-up on blogging. I thought once I didn't have to study that I would have lots of free time. NOT! I am pushing Colson alot harder in his homeschooling. I just want to make sure he's where he needs to be when school resumes in the fall. He's doing great and he's always very eager to work and get it done. Most of the time he is finished with all of his bookwork by 9am, then we read off and on throughout the day. If we run any errands he always sits in front and reads to me! I love hearing him read and listening to his progression. The kids usually watch vidoes in the car, but the systems is getting repaired I've realized how much I miss their chatter and what a prime opportunity for Colson's schooling to continue.

Brett's open house is the end of the month and I've been browning hamburger, everyday, freezing it, and getting myself organized for it. So far I've got 35lbs browned and still have 35lbs to go. Not too bad, it will definitely alleviate alot of extra work the day before especially since Daniel and Elizabeth fly in later that morning and Bryan later in the evening. I want to make sure everything is in place before they arrive. Our time with them is short and we want to take advantage of every minute they are here, I guess we're a bit selfish that way!

Den is busy busy busy with a new ministry he is developing. He's full of passion and excitement these days and its a blessing to see him this way. For too long we've allowed our circumstances to control us, our emotions, our thoughts, our feelings and now we are controlling our circumstances! YEAH for us! certainly it isn't going to change overnight but we are on our way to a new adventure, a new life and a new journey. I am all about journy's, yet when they don't quite go my way, I get myself side-tracked; I loose sight of the vision. I'm a "here and now" kinda person and Den is a "see the future" kinda person. I'm ready to jump in with both feet when my mind is made up, and his decisions are long and full of thought. I guess that's what has made our marriage work for almost 31 years. I think we compliment each other well, although I would like to encourage him to "hurry it up a bit!"

With a family our size there are always issues, changes, frustrations, challenges, laughter, concern, regret, apologies, and forgiveness. I love how God has uniquely made each of our children different, yet with so many similarities. They amaze me with their tenderness, their concern and their unwavering love and support. I am constantly touched and humbled by their generosity, no only to each other but, to their dad and I. Almost everyday one of them gives from their heart! and they teach me many lessons on selflessness!! Every minute of it! (thanks Renae for that precious phrase it's stuck with me since our CO days)

UPDATE: Bryan passed his test Friday, it was tough, he had to fight off 10 men at once and what he went through to do it, I honestly don't think I could have done it without freaking out! PTL he is through with all the extremely challenging sessions. Thank you for your prayers.

WOW what a weekend and it went by way too fast! I woke up Saturday morning, 4:30am to begin Benjamins laundry and found a surprise sleeping in our basement. Unbeknownst to me, Bryan flew in the night before for Mother's Day! What a great gift and I was totally surprised! Ben was going to fly Daniel and Elizabeth home too but he had to preach this weekend so he wasn't able to get away. We were able to connect via computers and cameras! How fun! (I love how my children are so self-less when it comes to their family, they would give and do anything, no matter what, for the other)

In two short weeks everyone will be home for Brett's open house and graduation. It will be fun to have a house full, not that we don't already, but to have everyone here and all the craziness that comes with man-boys!

It was hard to see Bryan off last night. Victoria and I rode along, with Den, to take him to the airport. We had tearful goodbye's. Victoria was so cute with him this weekend. He couldn't get out of her sight and she was like glue to him the entire weekend. I think he loved it too! Once we got back from the airport Den and Branden left to take Benjamin back to his apartment in EL. That was another tearful goodbye. He isn't that far but its still "not home" and we so miss these guys. Each one adds a special "something" to this family and when one is gone there is a definite hole left.

Mothers Day. . . . .I am always humbled by the love my husband and kids show me. My mind plays out each scenario that shows my shortcomings and faults and I feel so undeserving of their love and admiration. PTL they forget better than I and still love me and still want to be a part of our lives, even as adults. Though, by the worlds standards, we have nothing, I am rich in my husband's and children's love! What more could a person want????

QUICK UPDATE: Bryan has his final "redman" test today and its, by far, tougher than Mondays. Please pray that he will be chosen the first to go, his request, and that he makes it through and passes. He will be fighting off many men at once and will fight until he can no longer fight. Its a pass or fail exercise. Monday he passed both. I know once its over he will be so relieved. Thank you for praying and caring. It means so much!


My heart is heavy this morning as I contemplate an exercise my son will be going through today at a state police academy. As we prayed together last night, not only for his needs, but our families, I realized just how much we need Christ in everything we do. How could we make it through an entire day without Him? How could my son face what he will face, today, without the grace and peace of Christ?

As a mom of 12 children its sometimes overwhelming praying over and for the needs of my children. Most times its an hour of prayer just for them, yet if I am not praying for them, daily, who is?

I was perusing a magazine this morning (in all my spare time) and came across this poem by Ruth Bell Graham. It so fit me; the thoughts and feelings that are prevalent in my life, so I thought I would share it with you in hopes that, it too, would encourage you as you bring your children before His throne.

"Like other shepherds
help me keep
watch o'er my flock by night;
mindful of each need,
each hurt, which might
lead one to stray--
each weakness
and each ill--
while others sleep
teach me to pray.
At night wolves and leopards,
hungry and clever, prowl
in search of strays
and wounded; when they howl,
Lord, still
my anxious heart
to calm delight--
for the Great Shepherd
watches with me
over my flock
by night."

Look what Jacqueline, Victoria and I got today!

What an amazing surprise to find these beauties delieved today! and what a surprise that one of my sweet boys sent them to us. Thank you Benjamin. I love you so much and so do your sisters.