WHEW!!!!!

It's been a very long time. . . . too long, in fact and my apologies go out to those who may have stopped by only to find that nothing had changed! Life has certainly happened in our home these past few months; so much living but where to start, what to share? What life-lessons have I learned? What is God working through my heart?  

A while back I read a book by Donald Miller, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years."  If you haven't read it, your local library has it.  It's a phenomenal book, an easy read and I guarantee you won't put it down once you start.  Very rarely do I read a book that "hangs" onto me like that book, until yesterday.  Den passed another "good read" onto me and I (without any guilt of wasting my study time) picked it up and began to read.  Oh so much to process, to chew on, to reflect on.  I am only 1/16th into the book and find myself thinking I need to re-read those pages again, making sure I glean all God wants me to apply, grasp and utilize, and I'm even taking notes! Crazy! Read it and let me know what you think!  

oh ye of little faith. . . .

Last week Den didn't substitute teach all week, by Friday I was getting a little bit stressed! No subbing means no paycheck, which means we struggle even more, financially.  Friday afternoon Den shared a story with me about Loren (see previous posts) and his dad, and the phone calls he's received from them all week.  Had Den been subbing he would not have been able to take their calls nor would he'd been able to encourage and pray with them when they "really" needed it the most (they are walking through some very serious "dark" days).  Friday, as I was praying about our needs, God spoke to my heart with His Word; "my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus," Philippines 4:19.  I've been working at listening more and talking less and this is one time when I completely heard God speak to me! It was a soothing balm to my anxious heart and caused me to thank God that He has everything under control even when I can't see it or understand it.

the key to a Mom's heart

All of the public schools, here in MI, have to take a mandated assessment test each fall, this is Colson's year for testing.  The school preps the classroom for several weeks prior to taking this test, which takes several days to complete each section.  The administration ensures that the kids get proper snacks and drinks to promote solid thinking.  This year they are giving out Bob's Mints because its proven that peppermint enhances your memory.  My sweet boy knows these are my FAVORITE mints and brings me his each day.  The first day, of the testing, his dad picked him up from school and he came to me, immediately, after he got home with a surprise in his hand and a smile on his face; one Bob mint.  I was so touched that he would save his mint for me!  Yesterday he crawled into the car and said, "guess what mom, I got you a handful of mints today!"  He then tells me that he asked the teacher if he could do work for her in exchange for those mints because they were his mom's favorites!  She just let him grab a handful!  Man. . . .I love that kid! what a blessing he is to me, what a gift from God!

the battle rages on . . . . .

I just read this status on Loren's dad FACEBOOK page this morning;

"Hi Folks, It is after three in the morning and Loren is in bad pain again. It seems beyond our comprehension and beyond our ability to cope with this constant specter of pain always hanging over us. At some point all of us have to come to grips with the apparent conflict in the Bible about God answering our prayers. Loren has said that some times he feels that God has turned His back on him. The key word here is "feels". Loren holds fast to God's promise never to leave or forsake us. But that doesn't help our weakness sometimes.

The apostle Paul was a great healer. In Jesus' name people were healed from all kinds of conditions. Even by the touch of pieces of cloth that came from Paul. But in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 Paul describes his "thorn" in his flesh. It seems unbelievable that God wouldn't heal Paul even after him begging three times. (remember that Jesus asked His Father three times to avoid the cross if there was any other way) Paul clearly says that his thorn was to keep him from being prideful. Loren says that there is always some of that but the other reason is to show Gods strength in our weakness. Even though Loren says he feels like he has come to the end of himself God forcefully caries him on. We continue to hope for the opportunity to praise God at the end of this journey and give Him the glory that is His alone. We hope that your journeys can be enlightening and that God will bring each one of you the answers needed. God always hears our prayers! And even though some people are quick to say that healings and other requests aren't answered due to our lack of faith or even due to sin in our lives, it is more likely that God is bringing us through so that we can help others on their journeys through the valleys. It is a most obvious fact that we live in a broken world. Because of that one fact there is all manner of sickness, pain, suffering and difficulties. But God if faithful and will provide for us freedom from all suffering for an eternity to come. Have faith everyone we will persevere with God's help. And keep praying no mater what. Love you all."

Would you please be willing to pray for Loren? his parents, Greg and Sheryl?  They are now into week seven at the hospital.  Den went over Monday for the day to bring some relief to Greg so he could rest and sit with Loren.  Thank you, I'll keep you posted.

the ride began early and continues. . . .

We've had a full busy summer and it's gone by all too quickly.  School is quickly approaching, for the kids (I started last week) and a whole new schedule of living comes with it.  Sitting here, in the still quiet of the morning, I realized that the emotional roller coaster began early in the summer and continued; moving, kids home from out-of-state, babies born, birthdays and anniversaries were celebrated, vacations were enjoyed and goodbyes were painful and hard.  With school only a week away my heart is already heavy with the thought of my babies being gone all day.  I love having my kids home and this year will be the first in 33 years, of raising children, they will all be in school.  My baby is starting Kindergarten!  How could that be possible? it was just yesterday, wasn't it, that she was born?  I always cry the first day of school; when I'm taking their "first day back to school" pictures, when I drop them off at school and when I walk away from their classroom doors.  What a gift and a pleasure it has been to parent these 12 beautiful souls God entrusted to their dad and I.  

My ride is about to begin! I need to make sure I'm strapped in tightly because I want to latch onto them and not let them go!  It will be wild and crazy, and my emotions will flow and will  be ever so bittersweet.

do you ever feel like a "fish out of water"

"Someone who is in a situation they are unsuited to"

I am pretty much on the outside looking in these days! I've transferred to a Christian College to finish out my degree and in doing so I have to take 30 hours of Bible/Ministry/Leadership classes.  My classes for the next 8 weeks are:  Theology II, Building a Biblical Lifestyle and Foundations of Ministry Leadership.  I honestly love a challenge but Theology II is already pushing my 
 buttons; not because I can't do the work but because I'm in a class full of students who like to use textbook words and terms.  I just want to scream, "use real words people!" When your explaining Presuppositions or The Doctrine of Inspiration  to someone, outside of class, they will NEVER get it!  

Example:  

"if our view of inspiration is inadequate, it will inevitably effect our Christology."

or

"We have to operate on at least some presuppositions, however, we need to be able to give up a presupposition if we find that we were wrong through the study of theology using the Bible."

I get both phrases but can this be articulated in a way that anyone, outside of a theology class could get it?  What do you think?

my kids have a great sense of humor. . . . .

My daughter-in-law, Casey, brought me this this picture frame to use on my counter.  I love it and have been using it every day.  When we returned from vacation I found the above messages on it from our son, Blake, who spent a long lonely week at home* alone!  I couldn't erase it and I had to share it! I love my kids and their wonderful sense of humor!

*he could have come with us but he had plans to go visit his brother in Chicago just before we returned home! don't feel too sorry for him!!!!

all good things must come to an end......but do they really have too?

Tonight is our last night in North Carolina.  We've been in the mountains, the city and at the shore, and enjoyed all the changes in scenery.  For the last 5 days we've been at Sunset Beach.  We had a great condo that serviced us well, all 12 of us; minutes from the beach.  It took many trips and lots of hands to get all the groceries, luggage and beach ware up three flights of stairs but we managed it and were ready, within minutes, to head to the ocean.  How soon you forget how salty the water is, how big the waves are and how strong the undercurrent is.  Today was our last day at the shore.  It was overcast but still warm and the waves were the biggest we'd seen in all 5 days.  It didn't take long to realize these waves were nothing to joke with.  We wouldn't even let Victoria in the water.  After several near drownings (I'm joking but it sure seemed like it), twisted knees and a twisted back we decided it was time to head back to the city.  Sadly I relented while everyone else was elated; sunburned, full of sand and wet, we drove the 1.5 hours to our son's home.  Once the van and car were unloaded Emily and I made our way to the car wash/vacuums.  We reloaded the van, everyone showered and crashed.  The rest was much needed.  You just don't realize how draining the sun, sand and surf is. . . . .but we still had a wonderful time.

Loren is up!

Loren is doing so much better. He is not totally pain free but on the road to being free from all pain drugs. The doctors working with him are confident they can get him pain free. We are praising God for his blessings and this miracle. He called Den just as we were leaving for NC last Friday. That was a huge step in his progress. Thank you all for going to the throne on his behalf. His family has no clue how many people are praying for them and Loren. Our God is mighty indeed!!!!

a beautiful respite . . .

The beautiful covered Conference Center porch at Camp Caraway, NC

We've been staying at Camp Caraway, nestled in the mountains of North Carolina, for the past two days.  We were blessed to share the weekend with our son, Brett, who is an intern here at the camp.  It's been such a wonderful retreat for our family, though not what we expected.  We had lots of plans to do "out door" activities but God had a different plan; thunder and lightening storms.  At first we were disappointed but then we found the covered porch with lots of rocking chairs.  The kids and I made our way out there yesterday afternoon just to sit for a few minutes.  While outside it began to thunder and the sky exploded and the rain was music on the tin roof.  The kids and I even played a game of, "I spy God in. . . ."

Later in the evening, as darkness descended, Den and I made our way back out onto the porch.  The storms were still present, and the lightening lit up the dark sky.  Victoria sat on my lap and the three of us enjoyed the sights and sounds of another raging thunderstorm.  It wasn't long and she was fast asleep in my arms.  Den and I sat and sang hymn after hymn that God brought to our minds.  It was a sweet time of remembering; "Sweet Hour of Prayer, Power in the Blood, Leaning on the Everlasting Arms, Stand Up Stand Up for Jesus, Heaven Came Down, Day by Day. . . . ."  As we sang the last song I couldn't help but remember a day, years ago, when we were in the hospital with our 9th son, dealing with seizures, and Daniel said to us, "this should be our families song!" and then says, "why does God hate us so much?" to which we replied, "He doesn't son, He's refining us, making us better, so we can share and encourage others."

We spent almost two hours, on the porch, sharing our hearts in song; one couple still connected after 34 years of marriage! It was an anniversary gift I'll never forget!!

Trying, attempting & working

I have been walking in the mornings; well trying to walk several mornings each week. Its such a great time for me to open my heart to God. The peaceful sounds of morning; birds chirping, soft rustling of the tress and the movement of water all cause my focus to shift off of me and onto God. It"s truly special moments I am learning to treasure. It helps me start my day out on the right foot and gets my heart and mind connected.

say "YES, to VuVu VBS!"

We have had VBS all week and each night the kids come home wet from the water games they play and each night we eat after VBS because our days have been crazy.  Tonight as the kids came in from VBS Victoria asks if she could change out of her wet clothes before she eats.  She then crawls up to the counter in her skirt, minus her tank top and says, "Look! I can pop my pecks" (referring to Journey to the Center of the Earth with the Rock).  Blake and I look at each other and just crack up!

they are like presents. . . . .

So very thankful for the family God has blessed us with; sometimes when we are feeling alone, we just have to look around and see all the faces of our children and realize how full our lives are and how not-alone we are.  We have an ever growing "tribe" that loves us, cares for us, and encourages us; through the good, the bad, the easy and the tough.  We're not perfect, we're still growing, learning; we still make wrong choices, bad decisions yet we know that comfort, care and encouragement is only a phone call away for any one of us.  They are truly "God with skin on!" and today. . . .is a day we needed some "God with skin on!"

it was like "Christmas in July"

Jacqueline, Elizabeth, Me, Emily, Casey, Katie

Victoria

Some of the "brothers" golfed on Saturday morning

David, Branden, Daniel, Bryan, Brett and Ben

For the past week we have enjoyed having almost all of our children home (usually its at Christmas).  We've had a driveway full of out-of-state vehicles and it's been a blast.  Our little house has been bursting at the seems with kids and grandkids.  So many pictures were taken and memories made.  There is never a dull moment in this home; Friday there were 17 of us, here, for lunch.  My second oldest son posted this on Facebook, "I am so blessed to have such an awesome family." I completely agree!

Our "Army Family" was definitely missed and we're praying that we all will connect during the Christmas Holiday.

a "fight to the finish"

Many days I feel as if I am fighting a battle, not against my family or God but against Satan.  He knows just where and when to attack.  Unfortunately I succumb to his tactics all too often.  I don't know why I listen to his lies.  These past few months I've been in constant prayer for my family, praying over them daily and many times throughout the night; fighting the battle to keep our family free from his attacks.  I have a very good friend, Marcie, who has been faithfully praying for our family as well.  It has been a huge comfort knowing someone else understands and is willing to go to the throne of grace on our behalf.  Satanic attack is rarely talked about these days within the Christian circles; in fact, I really wonder just how many people truly believe that Satan attacks?  we have experienced it, first hand, these past 5 months.  Its easy to push it aside as coincidence, happenstance, etc., but I know when we decided to trust God, seek Him, no matter what; Satan would be on the war path.  Like the picture, I want protection and that comes only from Christ.  He will guard and protect us if we ask.


Epesians 6:10-18, "And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out."

UPDATE on Loren

Thank you to those who've responded in prayer for Loren.  He is still in the hospital, going on week two, without much encouragement medically.  The doctors are working to adjust his medicine but nothing has helped thus far.  He is in a deep rest today, vitals are normal and the doctors say that these past few weeks have caught up with him so they are letting him rest, pain free for now.  His dad is still there, with him.  His family is physically exhausted, emotionally spent and spiritually depleted.  Please continue to pray for Loren, his family and the doctors; pray that God would bring the right doctor across his path that has the answers to help Loren, as well as  others who are able to love and encourage the family.  My heart is so deeply touched by your willingness to pray!

a "BIG" dose of perspective. . . . . .

Brennan and Loren

God has blessed us with an amazing friend.  His name is Loren and he's the kind of guy I pray for my girls to marry one day! Handsome, sweet, kind, thoughtful, caring, easy going, determined, loyal, strong in His faith, friendly, happy even amidst the toughest of circumstances.  You see, Loren is in a wheel chair, paralyzed from the chest down.  He was on vacation in Hawaii, dove into the surf and broke his neck.  Whats truly remarkable about Loren is that once you meet him you no longer see the wheelchair.  His outlook on life, since his accident, is humbling.  He laughs, well he used too, a lot! and we "used" to spend quite a bit of time with him too but this last year, Loren's health has been very bad; debilitating, and his quality of life has plummeted.   He has been in severe and constant nerve pain.  I don't know about you, but most of my aches and pains are nothing compared to the intensity of pain this guy feels on a daily basis.  His parents are his primary care-givers, in fact his dad has gone to part-time work to help ease the financial strain on their family.  They are an unbelievable family of strong and deep faith, yet they've hit rock bottom, in their trust and faith, this past week.  There are no doctors, there is no medicine that will help with his severe nerve pain.  Last Thursday Loren's dad drove him to a specialist two hours away in hopes of gaining answers, relief for Loren.  None is available.  Tonight Den got a text from his dad, Greg, asking if he would be willing to spend the night in the hospital with them.  Exhaustion, frustration, helplessness and abandonment has set in.  Of course Den was ready within minutes to leave and we are so thankful they aren't afraid to ask us for help.  But Loren and his parents could really use your prayers.  We (I) get caught up in the little trials in my life, which compared to Loren's don't really amount to anything and it takes just an instant to realize how God changes your perspective on life.  It could always be worse, far worse.  My petty little problems, grievances, frustrations are nothing compared to what Loren and his family are dealing with.  Though you do not know them, personally, please pray for them.  Pray that God would bring a doctor across their path that knows how to help Loren.  Pray that his parents are able to trust amidst this tumultuous storm, one that never seems to end, only intensifies.  Pray that Den and I can be a support to them; physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Isn't that what we're called to do? 

Matthew 18:19-20

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁹ “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Living in a Season of "How Long"

we've moved. . . . .

We've been in our new home for almost three weeks! What a blessing! What a gift from God.  We did not move to North Carolina as planned; long story.  Once we made the decision to stay in the area (for our son's sake) every little detail fell into place in a matter of one hour! All those weeks of agonizing over staying or leaving; waiting, praying, waiting, praying; seeking His direction and it all fell into place in one hour! Don't ya' just love how God works? His plans are so perfect.  As I look back I ask myself "why did I ever doubt Him?"  I find myself doing that alot these days.  Trust and Faith are serious issues I struggle with, yet when (and He always does) God comes through I am completely amazed, and I shouldn't be.  I should be waiting and watching, knowing He will take care of our every need, from the basic to the complex.  I hate that I learn lessons the hard way, well I learn them because I want it "my way" and fail to fully lean and trust the one who sustains me.  So as I sit here, penning this, I am in awe of how wonderful God is, how perfectly He meets our every need and gives us many wonderful blessings, big and small, along our journey.  Our new home is amazing.  I love it! It's comfortable, cozy, and very homey.  It took just a matter of a few days to unpack and settle in.  Now. . . .we're anxious to meet the neighbors! I've been praying that God uses us in a mighty way in our little subdivision.

Matthew 5:14-16 "Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

• <<
• <
• =
  =
• >
• >>
  
  

never a dull moment. . . .

Our lives have been a whirlwind of activity and change these past few weeks, so much to share, just not enough time to sit down and pen all the stories that have accumulated.  However, I can't pass up an opportunity to share another Vitoria story.  Victoria loves to snuggle when she gets up, all of our kids did, and as she was laying on the sofa by me I say to her, "oh your getting so big, I just don't like it one single bit!" and she (with her quick Lutz-wit) says, "coffee!"  Ok which one of you kids told her that "coffee stunts your growth?"  Love this blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl so much~

new life in Christ

The last few nights, as I was rocking Victoria (yes we still rock her at age 5), she has been asking me about Heaven, if we will live forever after we die, etc.  I shared with her the importance of asking Jesus in her heart and asked her if she had done that, which she replied with a shake of her head, no.  I then asked her if she would like to do it and she said, "I'm tired mommy can we talk about it and do it tomorrow?" Of course I wasn't going to push her to make a decision, I knew she had to figure it all out in her little 5 year old way.  Last night after church, as I was rocking her, she says, "can we ask Jesus in my heart tonight?" and then she proceeded to be sick. . . .after I cleaned her up and we were, again, in the rocking chair she says, "mommy I just asked Jesus into my heart."  We talked and she shared with me what she prayed and my heart swelled with joy and thanksgiving that our last baby, number 12, had made the most important decision of her life.  What a gift to share this with her and to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she truly is a child of the King.